Chapter 1

July 30, 1997

Lily Potter opened her eyes to the warm rays of sunlight filling her bedroom, causing her to groan as she stretched her fatigued muscles against the rumpled sheets. With a heavy heart, she realized that today was the day she was scheduled to deliver a crucial report to high-ranking Ministry officials. Despite weeks of intense preparation and countless late nights spent diligently working as an esteemed Auror within the Ministry of Magic, a lingering sense of anxiety continued to gnaw at her insides. 

Squinting at the clock, she realised it was six a.m. She sighed and closed her eyes before slowly opening them, thinking, Oh, James, give me strength today.

Voldemort murdered Lily's husband, James Potter, fifteen years ago. Her heart ached every time she thought of the man she loved so deeply. This tragic loss filled Lily with grief and fear, causing her to become distant, unapproachable, and overworked. As a result, she and her son Harry relocated to London, believing that living close to her workplace would provide them with security and protection. Although Albus Dumbledore disagreed, Lily believed it was the correct decision. Her Order of the Phoenix friends were hesitant to agree, but they understood that Lily had reasons for not returning to Godric's Hollow. They knew that healing would take time, patience, and possibly never fully come. In reality, James' death haunted Lily far more than the Cruciatus curse ever could. Forgetting was the only way she could cope with the immense grief that consumed her every day.

Fifteen years after that fateful night, Harry Potter was spending the summer in London with his mother, living an apparently normal life. He had no idea about the tragedy that had occurred so many years ago. Lily was determined not to tell Harry anything about James's death. Of course, Harry was aware of the basic facts—that his father had been murdered by a dark wizard—but when he asked for more information, Lily only provided him with a brief, simple explanation. She clearly didn't want to talk about his father, so Harry dropped the subject and decided to respect her wishes by not pressing for more details.

At one o'clock in the morning, Harry sat down to write a letter to his closest friends, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. In the letter, he poured out his thoughts and feelings about the current state of his life, which had been dull and dreary since he returned home a month ago. He conveyed his sadness at seeing his mother in a constant state of stress, and how she barely communicated with him. Whenever she did speak to him, it was usually to criticize his behavior and attitude as he matured. Instead of acknowledging her own role in their strained relationship, she pointed the blame at Harry's school friends for influencing him negatively.

Harry had repeatedly sought reassurance from Ron and Hermione about his mother's love for him. Ever persistent, he posed the same query to them on numerous occasions: "Do you believe that my mother loves me?" Without fail, both friends adamantly replied with a resounding "yes." Despite their unwavering affirmations, Harry remained unconvinced and harbored doubts deep within himself. 

Harry spun the quill in his hand, deliberating over the words he wanted to pen down in the letter he was composing for his friends. In a sudden interruption, the clock sitting on the bedside table let out a chime, signaling that it was already six o'clock. Startled out of his deep contemplation, Harry let out a sigh as he realized how much time had slipped by while he was engrossed in his thoughts. A silent question lingered in his mind—had he truly been writing for such a long stretch of time? Shaking his head slightly, Harry placed his signature at the end of the letter he had been working on, deciding to save it for later when he would send it off. 

A knock on the door preceded Lily Potter's weary peek into the room. With a sigh, she requested, "Since you're already up, would you mind making breakfast for me? I still have to get ready for work." Without waiting for a reply, she shut the door behind her.

Blinking, Harry tried to process her abrupt request.

After ten minutes, Harry quickly changed into a comfortable grey sweatshirt and sweatpants. He hastily left his room to start making breakfast, forgetting to run a comb through his messy hair. Little did he know, his mother was standing just outside the door, waiting. In his rush, Harry accidentally ran into her, causing her to drop the stack of papers she was holding. The papers scattered all over the floor, creating a chaotic mess.

"Harry!" Lily screamed, slowly standing up and massaging her aching backside while glaring angrily at her son. "You need to watch where you're going! Or you'll end up breaking something important one of these days," she scolded, shaking her head in frustration.

Harry tried to speak, but nothing came out.

After a brief period of silence, Lily took charge and instructed, "Please tidy up this area and ensure that all the papers are organized in a proper manner." 

Harry obediently began to gather up the scattered papers on the floor. "Mum, I'm very sor—"

"Now!" Lily yelled before stalking away, slamming her bedroom door behind her.

Harry always found it puzzling why his mother, Lily, viewed him as a burden. She constantly imposed her expectations on him, pushing him to conform to her standards. This led to confrontations between Lily and Harry's Hogwarts teachers when she found out that he was having difficulty in certain subjects. Lily's frustration at Harry's academic struggles often erupted into anger, as she blamed him for not putting in enough effort to excel in his studies. She believed that his success in school was the only way he could reciprocate her sacrifices and protect himself from harm. 

Motivated by a desire to redeem himself following the aforementioned incident, Harry dedicated himself to his studies with unwavering determination. He made sacrifices to ensure academic success, often sacrificing meals and sleep in order to achieve top grades. His hard work did not go unnoticed, as professors commended his efforts and friends congratulated him on his achievements. Even Hermione, known for her exceptional academic abilities, was genuinely impressed by Harry's newfound passion for learning and improvement.

But no matter how much Harry progressed, Lily's expectations always seemed to exceed his achievements. She consistently encouraged him to strive for excellence and pushed him to go beyond his limits. Her unwavering belief in continuous growth and the endless possibilities for improvement fueled her relentless pursuit of perfection. 

Upon Harry's return home for the summer vacation, he was tasked with various household chores, including tidying up the house and reviewing additional study materials to get ready for the upcoming term beginning in September. Nevertheless, on the initial day back, when he declined to comply, his mother delivered a lengthy lecture detailing all his errors, which eventually led him to relent and carry out the assigned tasks. 

Harry let out a tired sigh as he gazed wistfully at the closed door in front of him. He had spent almost an hour meticulously arranging the scattered papers on his desk, trying to make sense of the chaos. With a gentle and deliberate knock, he rapped on his mother's bedroom door, careful not to disturb the delicate balance of the documents in his hands. The sound echoed through the quiet hallway, prompting the soft shuffling of footsteps from within the room, but the door remained steadfastly shut, denying him entry. With a slow motion, he gradually rotated the doorknob.

The room was filled with a flurry of activity. Lily moved around with urgency, haphazardly tossing items onto her unmade bed, next to an open bag. She was wearing a flowing dark blue robe, which swirled as she moved. As soon as she caught sight of Harry, she halted abruptly in her tracks. 

"Are you finished?" she asked, holding her cloak. "Did you arrange them correctly?"

Harry nodded.

"Good," Lily said. "Put them on the bed."

Following her instructions, Harry obediently held the pile of documents and gingerly set them down on the comforter of the bed. 

"I'm running late and have to rush out." Lily sighed, looking at the clock, which showed it was already fifteen minutes past seven. "They changed the meeting time to seven thirty, and I can't be late."

Harry frowned with concern. "But you haven't eaten. Surely they'll understand if you arrive a few minutes late."

"I can't take that risk," she replied flatly, gathering her papers with a slight frown. "But it doesn't matter; I'm not hungry now anyway." She avoided his gaze.

An awkward silence fell between them, creating an uncomfortable tension in the air.

Harry lowered his head, feeling guilty and embarrassed. "I'm really sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to upset you."

"No need to apologise," Lily said quickly, her eyes fixed on her paperwork.

"But it was my fault; if only I had slowed down a little, maybe things would have turned out differently. I should have been more careful."

"It's done!" Lily said, giving him a sharp look. "Now, if you don't mind, please leave me alone." She turned her back to him.

Harry, feeling frustrated and upset, let out a deep sigh as he found himself unable to budge from his spot. Despite being familiar with the mistreatment he often received, he couldn't help but feel uneasy each time it happened. He cast a final glance at his mother before quietly exiting the room.

When the door closed behind him, Lily's emotions overwhelmed her and tears streamed down her face. She couldn't help but feel regretful for her actions and despised herself for losing control. Despite acknowledging that she should act differently, she felt utterly lost on how to face her son, the same child whose presence had brought her endless anguish. 

Lily took a moment to study her altered reflection in the mirror. The weight loss she had experienced left her looking sallow, with her shoulder blades jutting out prominently. Her once lively hair now hung limply, contributing to the overall look of gloominess. Unable to bear the sight any longer, she turned away from the mirror, avoiding any more contact with her own melancholic image. In a quick movement, she secured her cloak and flung her bag over her shoulder, getting ready to head out. 

Lily stealthily made her way into the kitchen, going unnoticed by Harry who was preoccupied with something else. As she stood there, she couldn't help but notice the striking resemblance between Harry and James. From the way he carried himself to the tousled hair that seemed to never be tamed, it was as if James had been brought back to life in his son. A wave of nostalgia washed over Lily as she longed to have James back by her side, to feel his presence once more.

"Harry," she started.

Harry was caught off guard when he suddenly heard his name being called. In his startled state, Harry accidentally cut his finger with the knife he had been gripping tightly. The knife fell from his hand and made a loud clattering sound as it hit the ground, while Harry let out a sharp cry of pain. 

Lily rushed over, alarmed. "Harry, are you alright?" she asked, concern evident in her voice.

"I'm fine; it's nothing," Harry quickly replied, concealing his injured hand. However, the blood was starting to seep through his fingers.

"Let me see your hand," Lily persisted.

Harry hesitated for a moment, then reluctantly revealed the cut on his hand.

"You call this nothing?" Lily asked in disbelief, taking her wand from her pocket and casting a healing charm. Within seconds, the wound had closed up completely.

"Mum?" Harry spoke hesitantly.

"Hmm?" Lily responded, looking up from her spellwork.

"Remember when Ron invited us to the Burrow for my birthday tomorrow? And to stay for the remainder of the summer?" Harry looked at his mother nervously as he made his request.

Lily's eyebrows furrowed as she looked at her son. "Harry, I don't think—"

"But I was thinking," Harry desperately said, "after your big meeting, it would be the perfect time to step back, relax, and go to the Burrow."

Lily sighed. "Harry..."

"Mum, I was really hoping you could come to the Burrow for my birthday tomorrow," Harry begged eagerly. "You could finally meet all my friends."

Lily expressed her regret with a subtle shake of her head, causing Harry's initial excitement to diminish. He was aware of the slim chances of his mother altering her decision. The idea of venturing out of their secure home had always been met with apprehension by her. The lingering shadow of his father's tragic death continued to haunt her, leaving Harry feeling helpless. He longed to ease her suffering, but he understood that some wounds were too deep to heal.

"You're not coming," he said quietly, lowering his gaze as his hopes were crushed.

Lily sighed and explained, "I tried to get the time off, but you know how much I have on my plate right now."

Harry was feeling disheartened as his ears rang with a sense of disappointment. He had eagerly anticipated celebrating his birthday with his mother, but that anticipation quickly faded away. Despite understanding the pressure his mother was under, Harry couldn't shake off the feeling of being abandoned.

"I'm really sorry, dear," Lily said sincerely.

"It's okay," Harry said halfheartedly, turning away to hide his disappointment as he walked away.

Stepping outside the apartment, Harry was met with cloudy and gloomy weather, mirroring his somber mood. Lily, on the other hand, followed him without uttering a word, a stark contrast to their earlier conversation. Lily had a tendency to show care or affection momentarily before swiftly transitioning to another topic, almost as if the exchange had never happened. This behaviour was her way of self-preservation. She wasn't indifferent, but rather chose not to invest too much emotion in order to shield herself from potential hurt.

"I'll be home at eight tonight," Lily informed him. "We have a large, complex case that requires additional attention. It's a nightmare, honestly!"

"Eight?" Harry couldn't believe what he heard. "You're kidding, right?"

"Kidding? Of course not," Lily replied, her tone firm and determined. "Harry, I'm serious about this. I need to focus and get it done. I can't afford any distractions right now."

Harry frowned. "But Mum, what about my assembly?"

Lily raised her eyebrows. "Assembly? What assembly?"

Harry looked at her incredulously. "The Recognition Assembly will announce the students' standings at Hogwarts—the one I've been working so hard for all year. Does that ring a bell?"

Lily paused for a moment before saying, "Oh, right, the Recognition Assembly! I didn't forget about it. It's—"

"Tonight. Seven o'clock," Harry interrupted, finishing her sentence. "The most important event of the year for me."

"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry," Lily said sadly, burying her head in her hand. "I shouldn't have pretended I forgot. I'm just so focused on finishing my report." She looked at Harry and saw disappointment in his eyes, despite his efforts to conceal it. "I'll try my best to be there, Harry."

Harry remained silent for a moment.

"Harry?" Lily asked gently.

"Good luck with your report, Mum," Harry concluded with a small smile. "You'll do great." He leaned in and kissed her cheek.

Lily smiled back. "See you later."

Harry acknowledged the farewell from his mother with a slight tilt of his head, his gaze betraying the lingering sadness within. As he observed her making her way across the street, his attention was abruptly diverted by a collision with a passerby carrying a steaming cup of coffee, which splattered onto Harry's clothing and left him reeling in surprise. 

"I'm so sorry!" said the man in the black hoodie.

Lily heard the commotion and spun around to see Harry standing there, coffee dripping down his front and a look of annoyance on his face. "Harry!" Lily rushed back, casting a dark glance at the departing man.

"I'm fine, Mum. Don't worry. You don't want to be late." Harry said as he wiped the coffee off his shirt.

"After I cast a cleaning spell, I'll go," Lily said. She pointed her wand at Harry's shirt. "Tergeo!" The coffee stain vanished.

"Thanks," Harry said gratefully.

"See you tonight."

"Yeah." Harry smiled and waved at Lily's departing figure.