Comments of chapter undefined of Adventure Time: Shadow Elemental
Adventure Time: Shadow Elemental
SirRandom
Chapter comments40
đ§đˇ I really liked the fanfic proposal, the protagonist reincarnated as a non-human is not exactly rare, but it is not common either. It's interesting. I hope that the MC can acquire a more defined and permanent form as a tangible, corporeal entity. Being stuck in a two-dimensional state must have its uses, but it also seems pretty boring. I think the story can still improve a lot, but I hope it doesn't get discarded. There are very few Adventure Time fanfics and I know of only one that hasn't been taken down. The chapters are very short and the development was very fast, very rushed. Maybe this is more of a Piece of Life type story, but I think there should be a little more plot and development on the protagonist's part. I have nothing against time skips. In fact, I think they are very useful and convenient, but only when used in the right way. It's okay to skip repetitive and/or meaningless things, but the time jump between one chapter and another cut out a lot of usable content. I recommend reading other works to help develop your writing, such as {Supreme Magus}, {Avatar, A Lost Survivor on Pandora}, {A Soulsborne's Traveler System}, among other good works. Good luck with your work. Ps. The last fanfic on the list of recommendations has a lot of gore, I don't recommend it for those who don't like heavy scene descriptions. Just warning.
I'm loving the book so far and it would be nice for him to have his own kingdom he could even have some ties with Marceline's dad since he's the ruler of the nightosphere he can show him a way to create his own shadow people and the nightosphere seems like something that would pair well with his powers over shadows.
the language really makes this bland. Character interactions are just as cardboard. Honestly u need to have a personality for ur MC because there's nothing to be found there. U also don't really describe setting u just name locations and expect the reader to know what they look like by heart. Problem is is mitigated with a description or a picture. Ur chapters are also short. all in all this really isn't much besides a good idea for powers in oo
You know what you should do.You should have him and Billy have an adventure. Getting rid of some of the entities in ooo like the Primordial Monsters the lich talked about. Also, have him be a founding member of Wizard City. These are just suggesting you could do whatever you want with them or not is up to you. I'm Loving your story keep up the good work.
