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Comments of chapter undefined of God Ash: Remnants of the fallen.

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Frost_Song
Frost_SongLv1Frost_Song

Hi! Your words are great! Would you like to have more different chances?

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LucyXiong
LucyXiongLv12LucyXiong

Nice chapter. I like the battle, but perhaps try to add a few more adjectives? For example, liked how you put "gutteral laughter". It tells me how he laughed, therfore how he felt. There were a few others too, but I wasn't quite drawn into the fight scene. Maybe it just might be me. I do see that you have descriptives of the scene, but it was more of a, "he did this and then this and then the other guy did that" sort of description. Again, probably just me but I like the adjectives the descriptions, the details that tell me and make me feel how the MC is feeling. Instead of just telling, try to paint the picture for the reader. You did every now and then, but also try a little more for the fight scenes. Like how the did the blood pool or drench his clothes, or perhaps the how he felt the warmth of his own blood seeping through his clothes etc. Hopefully I made sense.

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ALPHN
ALPHNLv1ALPHN

i love this [img=gift]

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Ali_Lukoni
Ali_LukoniLv1Ali_Lukoni

that cool idea to make a format like RPG, maybe I used use that too

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Nickjr321
Nickjr321Lv14Nickjr321

Thanks for the chap

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KingKitten
KingKittenLv14KingKitten

Nice skill. I haven't seen an mc with that skill for a long time.

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Demons_and_I
Demons_and_IAuthorDemons_and_I

Please leave a comment !!!!!!!ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ