LucyXiong
Lv12
Aspring writer working hard to share my stories and passion with the world. Some will be wholesome filled with rainbows and butterflies. Others will be very dark and show the ugliness that can be.
2022-02-07 JoinedUnited States
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LucyXiong5mthCommentedCh 44 Waking Up- LucyXiong5mthCommented
"look at be my friend"?
"Giken," I whispered, finally recognizing his face as I came back to my senses, " Please…Giken…look at be my friend… he is hurt. Please save my friend." I cried, and for the first time in such a long time, as our eyes locked. - LucyXiong5mthCommented
the sparks flew from her what?
"NOOOO!" I screamed, and as if it were magic, time slowed down into a motionless pause. All I saw moving was a bright light that bursted from within me as my screams turned into a roar, batting the arrow out of my way. Sparks flew from my white emitting light and traveled into the shape of a dragon, electrocuting everything in its path toward Bjork in white ultraviolet rays. - LucyXiong5mthCommented
if he's saying it, shouldn't it be "myself" not "himself"?
"Now the hard part, cutting through all the ropes to finally loosen himself." He said out loud to give himself more spirit. Again, hours went by. It wasn't until midday when he finally fell through the ropes, only to land onto the hard ground. - LucyXiong5mthCommented
There's a floating quotation mark.
Again, I find myself running and asking myself, "Where is Jerell?" No time to wait, run towards the smoke. Bjork is here… that means he was fleeing whoever was camping. Run there." I was telling myself. - LucyXiong5mthCommented
The last sentence seems unfinished
"Ma'iingan let ancestors do fate. Ma'iingan not help you. Fate be with you side." Giken said loudly as he continued to shout curses. "Mawine aaniin dash…Attack, why? He attacked! Now you not safe for Ma'iingan!" on and on he tried. - LucyXiong5mthCommented
maws is a mouth, I think you meant mauls
A very ugly man pops out of the bushes, swinging around a scythe, while hopping on one foot. Giken charges at the man and knocks the wind out of him. Giken's paw maws the man down and rests heavily on his chest as Giken growls viciously down at the guy, saliva spewing all over the man's face. - LucyXiong5mthCommented
I think ypu meant "muzzle" not "nozzle".
Giken sniffs the air to try to get a better whiff of this person, but couldn't get much of it's scent. So with his nozzle he shuffled the leaves on the ground that was blown his way. Just then an arrow flies past just above his head, almost grazing his scalp right before it embedded itself into the wolf standing directly behind him. - LucyXiong11mthReplied to Demons_and_I
Thanks. Will work on the new cover.
"I will." She replied and tapped Ellie on the shoulder, waking her and placing the bowl in her hand. {Eat.} - LucyXiong11mthReplied to DaQuan_LeeCh 40 Chapter 40: To Cry or Not To Cry
- LucyXiong11mthReplied to Demons_and_I
Lol. No she grew up dressed as a boy, and pretended to be one. She's always been a girl, hence why she refused to bathe around anyone, denied the marriage proposal, hated Lugo being in her space etc. It'll explain why she did so later on.
"I will." She replied and tapped Ellie on the shoulder, waking her and placing the bowl in her hand. {Eat.} - LucyXiong11mthReplied to Demons_and_I
Nothing. She's always been a girl.
Vines shot out of the ground and bound the remaining five porgrin's. The vines tightened and squeezed them, like a snake, constricting them and crushing their bones. Blood oozed from their orifices: eyes, nose, mouth and ears. Their internal organs crushed and their eyes bulged out. Tsugi looked behind him and grinned at Ellie, who had her arms raised to her sides. She looked at Tsugi and smiled before clenching her fists together. The vines constricted immediately and the bodies exploded from the pressure, sending tissue and blood spewing the surrounding area. - LucyXiong11mthReplied to Demons_and_I
No it's no typo.
"I will." She replied and tapped Ellie on the shoulder, waking her and placing the bowl in her hand. {Eat.} - LucyXiong11mthReplied to Demons_and_I
Do the younger years make more sense now? lol.
After scrubbing all the dirt and grime off, he moved to wash his privates. He retrieved his hand from his crotch to rinse it under the running water, and his eyes widened with shock. "Is this…what I think it is?" There was blood and little blood clots on his hand. He quickly rinsed it off and washed his crotch again. Pulling it back up into view, he gazed at his blood covered hand. "Fuck! I have my period?!" - LucyXiong11mthReplied to
lol
After scrubbing all the dirt and grime off, he moved to wash his privates. He retrieved his hand from his crotch to rinse it under the running water, and his eyes widened with shock. "Is this…what I think it is?" There was blood and little blood clots on his hand. He quickly rinsed it off and washed his crotch again. Pulling it back up into view, he gazed at his blood covered hand. "Fuck! I have my period?!" - LucyXiong11mthReplied to Demons_and_I
No, she's not a dude again.
Vines shot out of the ground and bound the remaining five porgrin's. The vines tightened and squeezed them, like a snake, constricting them and crushing their bones. Blood oozed from their orifices: eyes, nose, mouth and ears. Their internal organs crushed and their eyes bulged out. Tsugi looked behind him and grinned at Ellie, who had her arms raised to her sides. She looked at Tsugi and smiled before clenching her fists together. The vines constricted immediately and the bodies exploded from the pressure, sending tissue and blood spewing the surrounding area.