personality discovering

Actually i really am a pessimist person, i know we're all going to die one day so for me why wouldn't it just come so i can quit this whole circle of life, i know we shouldn't say this but why not. Always people keep telling me to love life and enjoy it but once i start enjoying it and living they start complaining about what's wrong and what's right, maybe something is right for you but it's not right for me, maybe you convince yourself that you're going to heaven but who told you so? How can you be sure that there's something such as heaven? Why can't we say it's valhalla? But no of course not since they convinced us that those who doesn't believe in heaven and God will go to hell, bro if he doesn't believe it means he doesn't even believe in hell and heaven. Let me ask you something now, before you're born how was your life? If you try to remember you'll find just darkness, and that's exactly what you're going to find after your death, it's gonna be just darkness.