Leaving_Life
what inlike about this story is the emotional damage you put on mc and thats what reader love about your story it feels like we re more close to the mc we can feel the pain the desperation of the mc from the style of your writing but like many others i think you need to balance it allison and lydia is already a big baggage for mc adding and pulling another one on top of it is too much for the mc just let it cool down first.
That's what you needed to do to ruin it for me, the system was the problem of this story exactly because I knew something like that would happen. Where is the MC choice in there, he decided to keep himself away from both of them, but his system tell him to choose, and he's just glad it gave him time??? In the beginning, you showed an MC that preferred his own feeling over the mission and only accepted because it would help him accomplish his dream, then you make him change like that for no reason (and no that's not some character development, that's plot forcing). I'm really sad you went that way, the story was great to read.
all the chapters so far have been amazing, but bringing erica? don't make her have feelings, she like stiles for a long time, leave her as a good friend of the mc, he needs friends more than girlfriends. his thing with alisson and lydia is already complicated enough. I don't care about the system and the mission, at least he'll get out of it and get all confused with them, so it'll be over soon and go to the good parts. put their names in a draw and see which one comes out, or simplify choose allison you know? she would die 1 year later, and a story of how they end up talking and opening up about it all and how they both feel would be nice too. and the mc has an active mission about her, so it makes more sense to be her, since she was the one who took the mc out of the capsule he was in. you don't need to follow anything I said, just don't get lost in so many women, the series has many elements to be explored. just don't do harem
Waiting so long, for you to make the story so much worse? Honestly, I would delete this episode and make a new one because it sucks, yandere seriously? Having to choose between these 2 due to dependency on the system is nonsense, you went the easy way and it's a shame because for now I loved the creation of your character and how he interacted with others