Comments of chapter undefined of Sparror Volume 1

I am assuming you are going for an Ultraman type world and setting? If so, good job on that. I cannot, however, get past a few things and it prevents me from wanting to read the rest beyond the 1st chapter: 1) The grammatical and mechanical errors are heavily abound and it really mucks up the reading experience. Subject-verb agreements, improper word usage, etc. 2) Your name choices make this novel have a very weebish vibe. You realize Hatoshi means pigeon boy in a sense. I don't tend to nitpick names in fictitious worlds, but because you base this on Tokyo and I heavily assume you haven't lived or experienced life in Japan, again it just comes off weebish. 3) The flow doesn't make sense to me. You started off fine with Gazerman and what was going on there but then its a strangely placed, awkward exchange between Hatoshi and Yuna and the super hero who (apparently is friends with Hatoshi?) stops by for a pointless conversation before going about what seemed like much much more serious business. I don't know how else to put it, but it just seems altogether clunky and nonsensically tied together even though it seems like you had some interesting ideas floating around.