Comments of chapter undefined of The Eager Dimension Hopper (SCP)
The Eager Dimension Hopper (SCP)
Huurdle
Chapter comments53
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Huurdle
I really enjoyed your story. You have a talent for writing and I believe you are at the top percentile of people on this page. However, I do have some criticisms. First, the good: You have quite the eye for choreography in battles; all the fights were action-packed and quite fluent. You managed all the dialogues and relationships well, making them feel natural and coherent. Your world expansion and the addition to the lore were amazing, and they felt as if they were "canon". You balanced the power scales throughout the story, and there wasn't a single moment where the character was "too strong" or "too weak". Finally, your character development was on point, and his struggles with his humanity and unwillingness to give in were realistic. Overall, I would rate this fic 5 stars. However, I still have some criticisms (this is mostly my opinion). 1) I don't think you invested enough time in his power to create monsters. With the D-class personnel and some creativity, he could have created specific monsters with specific abilities to help him out. For example, he could have combined two soldiers into a brute (strength), changed the leg muscles or added legs to make a speedster or leaping monster (speed or agility), mutated some soldiers' eyes, brain, and arms to make perfect long-range combatants such as snipers (finesse), mutated some soldiers into big muscle creatures covered in bones and thick skin to make huge walking tanks (endurance), or made obsessed round infected made of dense biomass to donate, heal, or improve himself or others in an emergency (healing). He could have made a flying variant with guns or an underground variant with drills or sharp teeth. 2)Another issue I had was with some of his abilities. He has souls, magic, and perfectly body manipulation abilities. I feel that he could have pulled off way more abilities than were shown. He also rarely used his shape-shifting abilities. (Look up the game prototype for examples) 3)Finally, the biggest issue, in my opinion, was his complete lack of ability as a leader. He was horrible at negotiation or even managing more than three people. He didn't need to become a dictator or anything similar, but he could have infected some people on the inside and outside and actually given himself some political or military strength. Even if he didn't have the brain for it, he could have had others do it for him (The mask or simply comsuming smart people for the hive mind). By now, he could have a small army or enough political weight to start pushing around some groups, doing coordinated attacks on SCPs, or even just pushing around civilians for their own good. The speech was nothing more than a tantrum, and I didn't understand why he freed the president
Guys he is still alive, his last archive was on (3/12/2024, 10:52 PM) on royal road. I don’t know what’s happening to him buts it feels like he is ghosting us… it’s not even the fact that he hasn’t posted in two years but it’s the fact he has left us in the dark. I really enjoy this story it’s just sad that the author doesn’t seem to understand the extent to that enjoyment that borders on love for this story..
