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Comments of chapter undefined of The Ancients World

Aromaticx
AromaticxLv5Aromaticx

My 2c. The short sentences are very jarring to read. You should take related points and work them together into one sentence, breaking them up with comma's instead of periods. Shifting the dialog to it's own lines and not having it in the middle of paragraphs would help with readability too.

NoMoreWtfTakenToo
NoMoreWtfTakenTooLv2NoMoreWtfTakenToo

This whole story needs a lot more commas, feels like you can't catch your breath.

shashank
shashankLv13shashank

very bad english.

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Ezuku
EzukuLv10Ezuku

I have high expectations for this novel😁👍

SwordFishOfNoon
SwordFishOfNoonLv6SwordFishOfNoon

i dont understand this.. he retun in time with a item of the game but act like the game is only a game... why a time traveler act like the game is a game in his inner world, outside ok i understand but in your mind???

ComTolManBoePyaJhu
ComTolManBoePyaJhuLv6ComTolManBoePyaJhu

and the end of stroy somebody get another world item and **** him to the bone, finally another tale of revengers~

kaoru_rosen
kaoru_rosenLv4kaoru_rosen

Seems promising. Author, please rewrite the sentence when the MC speaks with his sister about becoming an actress, because I re-read it so many times and it still confuses me.

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ArcheronDaybreak
ArcheronDaybreakLv4ArcheronDaybreak

Nice opening.

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Abinash_Mohanathas
Abinash_MohanathasLv2Abinash_Mohanathas

Praying this will be a great novel

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Banea2
Banea2Lv3Banea2

Nice

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StoicStudent
StoicStudentLv13StoicStudent

First chapter looks good.

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DreamedLullaby
DreamedLullabyLv15DreamedLullaby

Thanks for the chapter~đŸ±

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DreamyFatCat
DreamyFatCatLv10DreamyFatCat

Good start but i hope blue chaos is a badperson because i think its not good idea to get what person should be get on the future.Although your purpose is to provide your family a happy and healthy lifesteal which is good but its still steal other people things or property specially if that person is similar to his family situation maybe also a poor and they have also have financial problem and its just lucky to get that divine class which can solve their crisis too.So i hope blue chaos ng from his past is a bad person and uses his blessing in wrong manner.

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Atlas_cf43
Atlas_cf43Lv10Atlas_cf43

This was a great start! Thanks for the chapter â˜ș

basti_buentiempo
basti_buentiempoLv1basti_buentiempo

The grammar is confusing. I re read the part where he was talking to her sister many times but still can't understand

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Nickjr321
Nickjr321Lv14Nickjr321

Thx

ThisUnknownBoi
ThisUnknownBoiLv1ThisUnknownBoi

I didn’t exactly understood the role model and the reason being that Cera was his only brother,so what about his sister?Does he see her as a role model too?She was her only sister.

JANQUEZ_WILSON
JANQUEZ_WILSONLv15JANQUEZ_WILSON

See this! I just gifted the story: Ice cola

tom_de_leeuw_8866
tom_de_leeuw_8866Lv3tom_de_leeuw_8866

info dump, gotta love it

Eastfire
EastfireLv11Eastfire

I have high expectations in this novel. Hope the English gets better over time

Shira_yukii
Shira_yukiiLv15Shira_yukii

See this! I just gifted the story: Ice cola