Akia200
Your writing is unique and I think I'm in love with your story. Just a little advise and I mean no offense but I think you should try paragraphing your work more. You know when you load a lot of info into one paragraph it might seem long and might bore the reader. Just my opinion and I will try to let you know of the parts that you need to break into paragraph. I'm sorry if my comment may sound nosy, I just thought it's a nice piece and wanted to help. I'm not perfect myself and I always let other authors peruse my book and let me know how to make it better. My apologies in advance.
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