Comments of chapter undefined of A New World, an immersive game experience
A New World, an immersive game experience
Breuno
Chapter comments48
There are a couple of things that don't make sense... the mc shouldn't be that fat... He bikes to university every day and because he is at university he wouldn't spend anything on takeouts or tons of junk food to save money. It was also mentioned he didn't spend money like water and always saved what he earned. Boosting the fact that this makes little sense... To me, it just feels like you made him like that as a joke to try and make it funny. Leading to this being extremely forced... I'm not trying to hate, I'm just stating the fact that it just doesn't make sense giving the background you bought him upon. I also feel like him being a "chubby" elf is going to be a reoccurring joke throughout until he slims down from the training. For me, this is just going to annoy tf outta me as I will always think back to this and how it was forced anyway leading to all mentions of it just annoying me more each time. If that makes sense? I hope this doesn't happen constantly with the forced try at humour as it would be extremely disappointing. If you want humour it will flow naturally in the story. There is no need to force it as it will just bring down the story as a whole. Oh, another thing is his chosen name. Like wtf? Who cares what it means in Chinese? He is an elf... chose an elf name. His own name Eldrian? Is more fcking elfy than Haru... If he was a human I wouldn't mind him having the name Haru but he is not. He is an elf... It's like the mc is a dragon and calling it Haru. It doesn't fit at all. The immersive feel of the book is again compromised by doing this. I am assuming the Author is chinses? Again this is not hate so don't take it as that. It's just you are writing about an elf so why give it a human name? That sort of thing.
I felt like this being fat thing done forcefully to make it funny. If MC had prob with his belly or he knew already he would become a Meme he should've Change it first instead of changing his Hair and eyes. I really hope this joke doesn't become a regular thing. Like everyone who meets MC talks about his belly first. Well 200+ chapters already written I don't knw what Author did. After reading chap3 still the novel doesn't interest me i hope something interesting happen soon. Or i might not continue.
