Review Detail of Otaku_Gamer_00007 in Shadow slave: Dark souls system
Review detail
Hello there I am writing this as I have just read all of shadow slave and guess what the #1 in fanfic was a SS fic so I got motivated while thinking about what will happen if a character has the power to kill and make an army of dark souls bosses will anyone survive in ss universes how many can slave knight gale can kill and all I won't promise that I will keep writing but it was a fun concept I had in my mind I hope this time I reach 50 chapters that's the goal right now
Shadow slave: Dark souls system
Otaku_Gamer_00007
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The biggest recommendation I can give you for improvement (if you want to write better) is to include dialogue. Right now, your main character has not talked at all. Everything is monologue and time-skippish. “Show, don’t tell” is what I think you can improve on (if you want to improve, you could be writing this for fun and nothing else and that’s okay)
You are right I am working on that this is why my brain stops working on dialogs and I want to keep it as original to source as possible so I have to think what would sunny from the start of the novel will react to him And it's gonna happen I am writing now I know it's bugging me to that there is not any Dialog
Demonic_Kaiser:The biggest recommendation I can give you for improvement (if you want to write better) is to include dialogue. Right now, your main character has not talked at all. Everything is monologue and time-skippish. “Show, don’t tell” is what I think you can improve on (if you want to improve, you could be writing this for fun and nothing else and that’s okay)
Demonic_Kaiser:The biggest recommendation I can give you for improvement (if you want to write better) is to include dialogue. Right now, your main character has not talked at all. Everything is monologue and time-skippish. “Show, don’t tell” is what I think you can improve on (if you want to improve, you could be writing this for fun and nothing else and that’s okay)