Review Detail of walls21 in Interdimensional Mercenary (SAS 4 Zombie Assault Fanfic)
Review detail
I read it up to chapter 40, but to continue reading I first want to vent here. This story is average at best. First let's talk about the protagonist, he is absolutely average, below if I go by my opinion, he has nothing remarkable in himself, no intelligence, wisdom, knowledge, not even self-confidence. Most of the time it seems that he doesn't even have a clue about what is happening around him and in his situation, it is absolutely frustrating to read him and follow his story, if you put Agent, his maid as the main protagonist of this story you would have a story Better yet, he outshines him in absolutely everything (which is not very difficult), more efficient, intelligent, wise, and even in leadership, for me the protagonist is a puppet of this maid, he almost always follows her instructions and advice, I don't know if because he likes the servant MC, capable and his thoughts are predetermined by the system. Another absolutely unpleasant thing is the "comedy", I don't know if the author simply has no ideas or whatnot, but he takes out all the anime cliches and puts them in this story, anime cliches don't go well with an author novel!, but well, the author portrays the MC as an isekai, beta and generic protagonist who cannot stand firm and say no to girls, frankly ridiculous and illogical situations in the story abound, such as when 20,000 girls "kidnap" the MC Imagine it as 20,000 people carrying one person on the street dragging him, I don't know how these things happen but they don't make sense. But hey, I will continue reading simply because I am interested in the other world, let's see how far I can last.
Interdimensional Mercenary (SAS 4 Zombie Assault Fanfic)
Daoist_KittyKat
Liked by 3 people
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What you said in point 2 is very noticeable, but he also did not actively do anything to change it, all the people who knew him could read him like an open book, and that is very bad considering that he is a politician even if he does not want to. The cliché part, the truth is that it doesn't bother me, but it should be taken into account that you use the cliches of the anime, if you commonly use the ones from web novels or other similar ones it would be fine, the ones from the anime don't fit either because of the context or because the feeling it gives when you read it. Point 4, I am in conflict with this point, on the one hand he shows concern for the girls but on the other, he should not show so much concern, he is apathetic and nihilistic but it seems that he had an attack of rage when he found out what they did. pass to the girls. I'm not saying he should be totally apathetic, but showing so much agitation over different situations doesn't fit the type of character you want to portray. I will continue reading, but I hope the MC improves, even if he is still stupid but at least wiser and with greater composure.
Daoist_KittyKat:ok, let me clarify some things. 1. what you said about Mc having no intelligence, wisdom whatever is true. I mean, he is just a rando from modern earth working 9-5 with as corporate slave with no goal, no ambition and just sail where the winds blow. nothing remarkable, not sons of heaven, son of destiny or whatever sons. Mc being stupid, not knowing anything in a world he know absolutely nothing of it completely realistic imo. I'm not what you meant with him not knowing about what happened in his surroundings part 2. Him trusting Agent is because he know he is absolutely useless. he doesn't raise up learning how to be a politician, to run a country, not even leading a group. Agent is a former ringleader of an AI uprising group, she is proficient in nearly everything. he who know absolutely nothing yet completely trusting Agent's loyalty, of course he would trust her decision and learning the ropes. so, I don't fault you that you see mc as her puppet as she does do that at first. she does what she think is the 'best' for her master who she sees as naive and clueless. 3. the cliche part I don't fault you. I'm not really a good author to not rely on those. 4. the beta mc that can't say no part is true... early on and maybe even to the current chapters. but mostly to those he sees as his family and he genuinely loved and care for. the cursed children are treated worse than animals, if not him who saved them to treat them nicely, who else? about 20000 children carrying one person... i forgot. but more like someone on the lead dragging him along while other follows. With that said, I hope the latter part of my fic is more interesting for you. although the Azur Lane part might get a little boring and weird early on.
ok, let me clarify some things. 1. what you said about Mc having no intelligence, wisdom whatever is true. I mean, he is just a rando from modern earth working 9-5 with as corporate slave with no goal, no ambition and just sail where the winds blow. nothing remarkable, not sons of heaven, son of destiny or whatever sons. Mc being stupid, not knowing anything in a world he know absolutely nothing of it completely realistic imo. I'm not what you meant with him not knowing about what happened in his surroundings part 2. Him trusting Agent is because he know he is absolutely useless. he doesn't raise up learning how to be a politician, to run a country, not even leading a group. Agent is a former ringleader of an AI uprising group, she is proficient in nearly everything. he who know absolutely nothing yet completely trusting Agent's loyalty, of course he would trust her decision and learning the ropes. so, I don't fault you that you see mc as her puppet as she does do that at first. she does what she think is the 'best' for her master who she sees as naive and clueless. 3. the cliche part I don't fault you. I'm not really a good author to not rely on those. 4. the beta mc that can't say no part is true... early on and maybe even to the current chapters. but mostly to those he sees as his family and he genuinely loved and care for. the cursed children are treated worse than animals, if not him who saved them to treat them nicely, who else? about 20000 children carrying one person... i forgot. but more like someone on the lead dragging him along while other follows. With that said, I hope the latter part of my fic is more interesting for you. although the Azur Lane part might get a little boring and weird early on.
there is a reason for his aggression in battle, think of something like Gamer Mind but for battle. instead of making him calm regardless of situation. he will be a perfect soldier in battle with no hesitation, perfect strategy, instinct etc.
walls21:What you said in point 2 is very noticeable, but he also did not actively do anything to change it, all the people who knew him could read him like an open book, and that is very bad considering that he is a politician even if he does not want to. The cliché part, the truth is that it doesn't bother me, but it should be taken into account that you use the cliches of the anime, if you commonly use the ones from web novels or other similar ones it would be fine, the ones from the anime don't fit either because of the context or because the feeling it gives when you read it. Point 4, I am in conflict with this point, on the one hand he shows concern for the girls but on the other, he should not show so much concern, he is apathetic and nihilistic but it seems that he had an attack of rage when he found out what they did. pass to the girls. I'm not saying he should be totally apathetic, but showing so much agitation over different situations doesn't fit the type of character you want to portray. I will continue reading, but I hope the MC improves, even if he is still stupid but at least wiser and with greater composure.
Daoist_KittyKat:there is a reason for his aggression in battle, think of something like Gamer Mind but for battle. instead of making him calm regardless of situation. he will be a perfect soldier in battle with no hesitation, perfect strategy, instinct etc.