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Review Detail of Rubi_Stone in I Will Live A Better Life!

Review detail

Rubi_Stone
Rubi_StoneLv15mthRubi_Stone

A very boring story till now, cause author can't include his readers in any action so they can relate it to themselves. It s mostly about random power spikes that author gives to his mc, not planing etc. Just walking on a street and here you are a power up, and then mc makes such dumb choices, that you start doubting this authors thinking capabilities. Even earning money is of dumb brats way, just daydreaming about how it could have been, if he used situation In 2012-2013

I Will Live A Better Life!

IdleYoungMaster

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Replies12

DaoistVHeuWf
DaoistVHeuWfLv1DaoistVHeuWf

wow! You have great ideas and concepts!!! Why don't you write your own story following these supposed rules of how to make a good book?

IdleYoungMaster
IdleYoungMasterAuthorIdleYoungMaster

Please elaborate more about the power up thing. Not once was it stated that this power ups came randomly. All of them are earned by the MC by doing something at a cost.

Rubi_Stone
Rubi_StoneLv1Rubi_Stone

Are you really that dumb or think that readers are imbeciles ? You say it as if it's common sense or writen on a stone and everyone should always agree with it. OK, will elaborate. When mc was first time walking and that thing, which upgraded him happened, and the second time he encountered the mage at the same place that mc followed and witnessed how demon killed that said mage. Who created both of this situations ? You say it as if you did not create such stupid power ups and the text and it's sentences just descented from heavens to you. Do you know how a decent author makes power up? They create a situation where reader via mc has a choice and make an obvious one. For example they say that there is 2 danger zones, one of them for average Joe and mc thoughts for himself that if he goes there then he would survive and have practise/gain power, but can be discovered or go to the second place with more risks but few visitors. That's the way author make his reader participate in story, but not writing stupid thing as you walk and encounter a situation that makes your mc more powerfull and every time by same logic. it's you, author, the one that creates situations for your mc, and he does not do anything, so saying the words "all of them are earned by mc...." is like spitting a reader in face or being so stupid that not really getting the situation

IdleYoungMaster:Please elaborate more about the power up thing. Not once was it stated that this power ups came randomly. All of them are earned by the MC by doing something at a cost.
Rubi_Stone
Rubi_StoneLv1Rubi_Stone

Or do you think mc made something using the world crisis by just buying some pappers or even getting lots of dollars so later he can sell them two or more times more expensive? Last time I heard about it it was my niece, she is 12 year old and asked how could I not buy papers in 2012 and later make 3 times more money, cause if it was she who was 25 at that time, she would buy it for sure. Even making your mc some magical power and then him excavating liquid gold from earth's core and then having problems with storing and selling it is a more intresting and intriguing way that what you wrote. Of course there is tons of more realistic things, I just gave a fantastic example, and even that one not as childish and stupid one as playing with crisis. Even fishing with teleportation (locating big and expensive fish and then just transferring it via magic to desired spot, just get to know the prices and you will understandt that with magic mc can do millions which would be enough) is a more real and intresting way than what we read in your story.

IdleYoungMaster:Please elaborate more about the power up thing. Not once was it stated that this power ups came randomly. All of them are earned by the MC by doing something at a cost.
IdleYoungMaster
IdleYoungMasterAuthorIdleYoungMaster

First of all, thank you for taking your time in elaborating stuff. I could see some of your points actually making sense. If I viewed it on another angle, it would seem as if he did gain a random power up by simply walking. However, what I took into consideration here is that supernatural activities are happening throughout the world at a constant rate. That is to say, it is not impossible for someone like him (with a cheat) to encounter one after eight years of living. There are also cases (in canon) whereas Sorcerers (JJK) or Magicians (Otherworld) mess up in one way or another, thus exposing the supernatural side to a select few people. On the off chance you continued reading, you will see that each of his major power up (chapters 15-99) all has a reasonable basis. Meaning to say, he worked hard to gain it. That is how I planned each of his power ups throughout this fic.

Rubi_Stone:Or do you think mc made something using the world crisis by just buying some pappers or even getting lots of dollars so later he can sell them two or more times more expensive? Last time I heard about it it was my niece, she is 12 year old and asked how could I not buy papers in 2012 and later make 3 times more money, cause if it was she who was 25 at that time, she would buy it for sure. Even making your mc some magical power and then him excavating liquid gold from earth's core and then having problems with storing and selling it is a more intresting and intriguing way that what you wrote. Of course there is tons of more realistic things, I just gave a fantastic example, and even that one not as childish and stupid one as playing with crisis. Even fishing with teleportation (locating big and expensive fish and then just transferring it via magic to desired spot, just get to know the prices and you will understandt that with magic mc can do millions which would be enough) is a more real and intresting way than what we read in your story.
IdleYoungMaster
IdleYoungMasterAuthorIdleYoungMaster

If you want to ask for some cases, there is a time in Magician's side when the protagonist messed up and exposed the supernatural side to his friend. There is also the scenario of Yuuji who got caught up in a Sorcerer v Cursed Spirit battle in the first episode. Similar to them, MC got exposed by a Magician's 'incompetence' towards this aspect.

IdleYoungMaster:First of all, thank you for taking your time in elaborating stuff. I could see some of your points actually making sense. If I viewed it on another angle, it would seem as if he did gain a random power up by simply walking. However, what I took into consideration here is that supernatural activities are happening throughout the world at a constant rate. That is to say, it is not impossible for someone like him (with a cheat) to encounter one after eight years of living. There are also cases (in canon) whereas Sorcerers (JJK) or Magicians (Otherworld) mess up in one way or another, thus exposing the supernatural side to a select few people. On the off chance you continued reading, you will see that each of his major power up (chapters 15-99) all has a reasonable basis. Meaning to say, he worked hard to gain it. That is how I planned each of his power ups throughout this fic.
IdleYoungMaster
IdleYoungMasterAuthorIdleYoungMaster

As for the money-making part, I agree it was not elaborated well due to the time skip. Nevertheless, I tried to make it as reasonable as possible with zero background in advanced economics. In the case of this fic, they earned their first source of money by shorting (no matter how illegal or not it was). These funds were then used to established companies that spew out products with the help of magic. It was explained several times that the reason why they are ahead of the others is due to the help of magic. Now, the reason why I did not place much emphasis on this aspect is that... it is not the main focus of the fic. It is a supernatural with a mix of slice-of-life to being with, thus what I focused on is the interactions and the logical coherence of the world building.

Rubi_Stone:Or do you think mc made something using the world crisis by just buying some pappers or even getting lots of dollars so later he can sell them two or more times more expensive? Last time I heard about it it was my niece, she is 12 year old and asked how could I not buy papers in 2012 and later make 3 times more money, cause if it was she who was 25 at that time, she would buy it for sure. Even making your mc some magical power and then him excavating liquid gold from earth's core and then having problems with storing and selling it is a more intresting and intriguing way that what you wrote. Of course there is tons of more realistic things, I just gave a fantastic example, and even that one not as childish and stupid one as playing with crisis. Even fishing with teleportation (locating big and expensive fish and then just transferring it via magic to desired spot, just get to know the prices and you will understandt that with magic mc can do millions which would be enough) is a more real and intresting way than what we read in your story.
IdleYoungMaster
IdleYoungMasterAuthorIdleYoungMaster

*Magician's side is pertaining to the manga/light novel "Isekai Mahou wa Okuteru!"

IdleYoungMaster:If you want to ask for some cases, there is a time in Magician's side when the protagonist messed up and exposed the supernatural side to his friend. There is also the scenario of Yuuji who got caught up in a Sorcerer v Cursed Spirit battle in the first episode. Similar to them, MC got exposed by a Magician's 'incompetence' towards this aspect.
Rubi_Stone
Rubi_StoneLv1Rubi_Stone

and thats wrong on many levels, speaking about your saying that this money making thing is just secondary. good novels are such, cause for authors there is nothing secondary and they give it all even to smallest details. yes, they will take much more time, but eventually the bigger picture would be satisfactory. but now instead of spending more time you are ruining the time that you already spent on your main points, which wont be as good as you would like without everything being well thought

IdleYoungMaster:As for the money-making part, I agree it was not elaborated well due to the time skip. Nevertheless, I tried to make it as reasonable as possible with zero background in advanced economics. In the case of this fic, they earned their first source of money by shorting (no matter how illegal or not it was). These funds were then used to established companies that spew out products with the help of magic. It was explained several times that the reason why they are ahead of the others is due to the help of magic. Now, the reason why I did not place much emphasis on this aspect is that... it is not the main focus of the fic. It is a supernatural with a mix of slice-of-life to being with, thus what I focused on is the interactions and the logical coherence of the world building.
IdleYoungMaster
IdleYoungMasterAuthorIdleYoungMaster

It is not much of an "afterthought" or "secondary" thing. It is just that the main focus of the fic changed as the plot progressed. From the normal slice-of-life world (with money as one of the main points), it transitioned to the supernatural side instead. You'd see this if you went back on the first few chapters before comparing it to the ones in chapter 15 and up. As of now, the supernatural became the main focus of this fic. And yes, I don't leave out any small details throughout the two fics I wrote up until now (as long as I can). If I didn't care about the story I wrote, I won't be reading more than thirty volumes of Danmachi for the sake of this arc; nine volumes of Otherworld's Magic; 238 chapters of JJK; ten volumes of Mahouka Koukou (as of now); and so on. Finally, you would see (if you would continue reading past chapter 15) that the story's quality improved. This was my first time writing in First POV (which is a "Huge" difference compared to the 3rd POV that I was accustomed to). I know it might not stand as a proper reason for some, but I rest my case here. It is up to others whether to read my fic or not. (PS: I'm still thankful for this review, however, since it made me more aware of another viewpoint. The best I could do is to ensure it would happen less in the future chapters.)

Rubi_Stone
Rubi_StoneLv1Rubi_Stone

who said i did not?

DaoistVHeuWf:wow! You have great ideas and concepts!!! Why don't you write your own story following these supposed rules of how to make a good book?
DaoistVHeuWf
DaoistVHeuWfLv1DaoistVHeuWf

you did? Amazing!!! Breaking taboos, breaking barriers, changing the cycle, mastering the world! INCREDIBLE!!!!

Rubi_Stone:who said i did not?