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Review Detail of literl010 in Hollywood: Head-Hunting System

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literl010
literl010Lv122dliterl010

Let me preface this by saying I originally really enjoyed the novel, even becoming an early Patron, however I've been disappointed with the recent chapters. The initial 85 chapters were a solid 5/5 for me, but the last 25 have dropped to a 2/5. The narrative has become cluttered with feature creep, straying from "show, don't tell" to just "tell". --- Pacing was slow, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, however recently there's been a loss of focus on "Hollywood", becoming bogged down with so many tangents with the retelling of comics, manga, recipes, and the slightly cringey events like charity events and concerts where the protagonist's perfection has become overly exaggerated with his Gary-Stu-ness kicked up into overdrive. Although slightly disappointing, this wasn't too big of a deal, because I was hoping to see that same level of detail when it finally came to the second movie arc, which I was eager to see. --- However this is where the pacing abruptly sped up. Unlike the first movie arc, this time all the vital intricate details were skipped like casting, scouting locations, production, etc. Large time skips were employed, using recaps instead of showing the events. When the movie is ultimately described, it's a mess with unclear descriptions, confusing plots, characters/actors who abruptly appear without any word about them previously. I'm sorry to say it's quite disappointing that a novel about Hollywood movies has evolved into something where the actual movies are seemingly an after thought. --- Maybe it's just me, but I'd far prefer more interactions between the protagonist and the other characters. More detail about the movies and their development - casting, planning, filming, etc. More interactions with the women in his life (the Japanese LI has been completely side-lined). More challenges. Reducing the emphasis on needless events, concerts, retelling of manga/comics, and fewer diversions would help recapture the essence of what I originally enjoyed and got me invested initially - Hollywood and the harem.

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Hollywood: Head-Hunting System

TheRamenLord

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TheRamenLord
TheRamenLordAuthorTheRamenLord

thank you for constructive feedback, I really appreciated it. I'll try my very best to apply in the next movie arcs that will come. Maybe I unknowningly strayed from something good, that I was doing in an attempt to write a better story. But mistakes, and I can fix them. Thanks for letting me know, I hope you don't give up reading my story as I am just an amateur writer trying to improve. Anyways, have a beautiful day 😁👍

literl010
literl010Lv1literl010

I'm really happy you took my feedback as constructive, I wasn't trying to moan as I know how hard writing is in English - I can't imagine how hard it would be in a second or third language. I've really enjoyed your work on the whole, and I hope I can in the future too. If not, then it is just not for my taste, and that's fine. Either way, I hope you continue to find success :)

TheRamenLord:thank you for constructive feedback, I really appreciated it. I'll try my very best to apply in the next movie arcs that will come. Maybe I unknowningly strayed from something good, that I was doing in an attempt to write a better story. But mistakes, and I can fix them. Thanks for letting me know, I hope you don't give up reading my story as I am just an amateur writer trying to improve. Anyways, have a beautiful day 😁👍