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Review Detail of RexHarris in The Orb of Worlds without Limits: Alice in Borderland

Review detail

RexHarris
RexHarrisLv138mthRexHarris

The other reviews and powerstones on this novel got my hopes up, but so far this novel has a lot of problems. To start with the story takes way to long to get to the other worlds. The first chapters are just another generic edgy dark mc brooding. There are several strange inconsistencies that were off putting as well. I recommend just skipping to chapter 10 or so. The roulettes are a bit strange as the way the items work don’t seem fully explained. And finally and the biggest problem for me is their are just tons of unnecessary words and detials in this novel. There will be several paragraphs that could be said in one or two sentences. A lot of things are repeated and tons of random adjectives and adverbs are just thrown in. It made me just start skimming through large sections. Overall, if u really want a hunger games fic then go for it but I suggest skipping and skimming a lot of parts.

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The Orb of Worlds without Limits: Alice in Borderland

SrCuervo

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Replies18

SrCuervo
SrCuervoAuthorSrCuervo

I just don't get it, some people like it and some people don't. First, he was interested in creating a flawed character, not incredibly impressive from the start. Yes, the protagonist will not be perfect but they will understand it as the chapters progress. One of the main purposes for traveling to unknown worlds is not wanting to be in yours, tell me, who would be willing to travel to a dangerous world on their own? In my opinion, it had to give the protagonist a backstory and a purpose. I assure you that the protagonist will not be dark or lonely throughout the story. I'm giving you spoilers, but I can't find any other way to explain this situation to you. Throughout the worlds, the protagonist will grow, learn, fail, and appreciate life. They are very used to a character traveling to a world in a single chapter, giving them wishes, and the story begins. This novel is different and I hope you will understand it later.

Jasonenrick
JasonenrickLv13Jasonenrick

I get the long backstory, even if I don't like it as well, but man is he right when it comes to describing his environment, etc. It takes ages.Detailed description is good, but you don't need 10 synonyms and 15 metaphors for you yo describe how lonely he is

SrCuervo:I just don't get it, some people like it and some people don't. First, he was interested in creating a flawed character, not incredibly impressive from the start. Yes, the protagonist will not be perfect but they will understand it as the chapters progress. One of the main purposes for traveling to unknown worlds is not wanting to be in yours, tell me, who would be willing to travel to a dangerous world on their own? In my opinion, it had to give the protagonist a backstory and a purpose. I assure you that the protagonist will not be dark or lonely throughout the story. I'm giving you spoilers, but I can't find any other way to explain this situation to you. Throughout the worlds, the protagonist will grow, learn, fail, and appreciate life. They are very used to a character traveling to a world in a single chapter, giving them wishes, and the story begins. This novel is different and I hope you will understand it later.
Voterat
VoteratLv4Voterat

Now I haven't read the fanfiction, but I think it's unfair to say a work is bad based on it being slow paced. Generally, a story that is slow paced has more development compared to a fast paced story. I also think its unfair to say that a work is bad based on it being overdetailed. I do agree that unnecessary words and details should be cut out, but the more details that give the reader insightful information on the characters/world, the better. Rex here did not give any constructive criticism, so after I read the fanfic I will come back and do it properly.

RexHarris
RexHarrisLv13RexHarris

You haven’t read the novel, but decided my review wasn’t constructive because in your personal opinion the problem I listed weren’t problems. Your comment isn’t constructive :)

Voterat:Now I haven't read the fanfiction, but I think it's unfair to say a work is bad based on it being slow paced. Generally, a story that is slow paced has more development compared to a fast paced story. I also think its unfair to say that a work is bad based on it being overdetailed. I do agree that unnecessary words and details should be cut out, but the more details that give the reader insightful information on the characters/world, the better. Rex here did not give any constructive criticism, so after I read the fanfic I will come back and do it properly.
RexHarris
RexHarrisLv13RexHarris

One of the problems with long backstories are that generally, in stories about going to a different world, they aren’t that important. In these stories people are usually more interested in the new world, so will quickly lose interest in the old one. Also knowing the mc will be leaving tends to kill and interest and suspense about what will happen in old world. The parts before traveling to a new world tend to get really repetitive after you have read several of them, which further kills interest. In the story as you mentioned MC is flawed, that’s fine. The thing is that some things just aren’t that enjoyable to read about for some readers. Edgy dark MC is one of those for me and some others. Personally the first time I read one wasn’t as bad but I quickly grew tired of them. Even if I know mc might improve, I still don’t want to read about him in his unenjoyable state to get to that point. Finally as I mentioned in my review there seemed to be several illogical events and plot holes in the part before travel, which further lowers interest. I hope this feedback helped

SrCuervo:I just don't get it, some people like it and some people don't. First, he was interested in creating a flawed character, not incredibly impressive from the start. Yes, the protagonist will not be perfect but they will understand it as the chapters progress. One of the main purposes for traveling to unknown worlds is not wanting to be in yours, tell me, who would be willing to travel to a dangerous world on their own? In my opinion, it had to give the protagonist a backstory and a purpose. I assure you that the protagonist will not be dark or lonely throughout the story. I'm giving you spoilers, but I can't find any other way to explain this situation to you. Throughout the worlds, the protagonist will grow, learn, fail, and appreciate life. They are very used to a character traveling to a world in a single chapter, giving them wishes, and the story begins. This novel is different and I hope you will understand it later.
Voterat
VoteratLv4Voterat

*WARNING* LONG COMMENT READ AT OWN DISCRETION *WARNING* "Constructive criticism is a feedback method that offers specific, actionable recommendations for change and improvement." That is the definition of constructive criticism. I don't think that your review was constructive, not because of my "personal opinion," but because it doesn't conform to what constructive criticism is. I've finished reading the fanfiction, so let me go through you're entire review. (S=Sentence of review) S1: Maybe there is a reason for that... :) S2: Agreed, it would have been better for the author to instead get right into the orb stuff and periodically sprucing in some flashback for that juicy character development. S3: The first 9 chapters are setting up the MC's character and his families characters. If you paid attention it has been said in the fanfiction that the mc will go back to OG world, so the character development was not wasted for his family. S4: I don't know what this is in relation to, but if its to the writing I have to agree it could use some editing. I'd recommend the author get a friend or family to read through the chapters to make sure there isn't any weird bits in the writing. S5: Like I said the first 9 chapters are important character development. S6: The roulettes where perfectly explained in chapter 10, you must have been skimming though it. S7/8/9: Now I have to agree that there are unnecessary words that could be deleted, and the author has a tendency to sometimes repeat themselves too often. But, I stand firm when I say that having a lot of details in a novel is a good thing. Sure you could have too many details, but I think that this fanfiction has not crossed that threshold. Most if not all of the detail is insightful to the reader. I do think the author has a major problem with telling instead of showing. Instead of "Jacob was angry at Ethen" it should be "Jacob gritted his teeth as he glared at Ethen." S10: So you where skimming? Skimming in novels is not that good and can lead you to missing a lot of information, just look up "skimming UNC learning center". S11: Please don't skim with novels, you will miss a lot of information and although it will take less time too read, it will be an overall less fulfilling experience. As someone who actually knows what he is talking about, you my friend are on Mt. Stupid.

RexHarris:You haven’t read the novel, but decided my review wasn’t constructive because in your personal opinion the problem I listed weren’t problems. Your comment isn’t constructive :)
tt_g
tt_gLv4tt_g

I’m gonna throw in my own two cents here. He never said he skimmed the fanfic, he said he recommmends you skim it, and I do too honestly. Typically I give a fanfic a minimum of two chances. The first is the hook, which is how well the fanfic hooks me in. This could be anything from the first paragraph to the first chapters, or even the entire prologue. A good hook can make me stay for tens of chapters, even if the fanfic turns out mediocre. If you’ve read the fanfic, the first sentence is a run-on sentence. Not a lot of hope here. The second chance is skimming, to get a gist of the story/plot. This is what I recommend too, cause the first few chapters aren’t very well done imo. If you’ve been on webnovel for a while, you should’ve noticed that most blurbs and synopses of fanfics aren’t very good, which is why you have to skim stories sometimes. Honestly, my opinion of this fanfic wasn’t that good even after skimming, but fanfic about the hunger games are rare, which is why I’m keeping it in my library for now. Also, I disagree with your opinion that being too detailed can never be a bad thing. Describing the same thing more than once will get old, incredibly fast. If you’re trying to add detail to the story, it’s important to describe many things, and not describing the same thing over and over again, which the op said the author was doing. Additionally, your comment wasn’t very helpful either. Being constructive requires you to be clear and concise, since there’s no point in constructive comments if you can’t follow them. Your comment looks like someone vomiting words, and theres a lot of unnecessary parts. I’m not gonna address the rest of points cause I don’t have the time nor energy to go over your comment word by word.

Voterat:*WARNING* LONG COMMENT READ AT OWN DISCRETION *WARNING* "Constructive criticism is a feedback method that offers specific, actionable recommendations for change and improvement." That is the definition of constructive criticism. I don't think that your review was constructive, not because of my "personal opinion," but because it doesn't conform to what constructive criticism is. I've finished reading the fanfiction, so let me go through you're entire review. (S=Sentence of review) S1: Maybe there is a reason for that... :) S2: Agreed, it would have been better for the author to instead get right into the orb stuff and periodically sprucing in some flashback for that juicy character development. S3: The first 9 chapters are setting up the MC's character and his families characters. If you paid attention it has been said in the fanfiction that the mc will go back to OG world, so the character development was not wasted for his family. S4: I don't know what this is in relation to, but if its to the writing I have to agree it could use some editing. I'd recommend the author get a friend or family to read through the chapters to make sure there isn't any weird bits in the writing. S5: Like I said the first 9 chapters are important character development. S6: The roulettes where perfectly explained in chapter 10, you must have been skimming though it. S7/8/9: Now I have to agree that there are unnecessary words that could be deleted, and the author has a tendency to sometimes repeat themselves too often. But, I stand firm when I say that having a lot of details in a novel is a good thing. Sure you could have too many details, but I think that this fanfiction has not crossed that threshold. Most if not all of the detail is insightful to the reader. I do think the author has a major problem with telling instead of showing. Instead of "Jacob was angry at Ethen" it should be "Jacob gritted his teeth as he glared at Ethen." S10: So you where skimming? Skimming in novels is not that good and can lead you to missing a lot of information, just look up "skimming UNC learning center". S11: Please don't skim with novels, you will miss a lot of information and although it will take less time too read, it will be an overall less fulfilling experience. As someone who actually knows what he is talking about, you my friend are on Mt. Stupid.
image
Voterat
VoteratLv4Voterat

"It made me just start skimming through large sections." That is a direct quote from S10 of the review, are you trying to gaslight me or something? Also why is there so much fluff in your comment, I know what a hook is you don't need to explain it. "But, I stand firm when I say that having a lot of details in a novel is a good thing. Sure you could have too many details, but I think that this fanfiction has not crossed that threshold." There is a quote from my comment. "Now I have to agree that there are unnecessary words that could be deleted, and the author has a tendency to sometimes repeat themselves too often." There is another quote from my comment. "S4: I don't know what this is in relation to, but if its to the writing I have to agree it could use some editing. I'd recommend the author get a friend or family to read through the chapters to make sure there isn't any weird bits in the writing." Another one. "S10: So you where skimming? Skimming in novels is not that good and can lead you to missing a lot of information, just look up "skimming UNC learning center"" Another one. Did you skim my comment? Because you must have only gotten the gist of it. Take back your 2 cents, I don't want them.

tt_g:I’m gonna throw in my own two cents here. He never said he skimmed the fanfic, he said he recommmends you skim it, and I do too honestly. Typically I give a fanfic a minimum of two chances. The first is the hook, which is how well the fanfic hooks me in. This could be anything from the first paragraph to the first chapters, or even the entire prologue. A good hook can make me stay for tens of chapters, even if the fanfic turns out mediocre. If you’ve read the fanfic, the first sentence is a run-on sentence. Not a lot of hope here. The second chance is skimming, to get a gist of the story/plot. This is what I recommend too, cause the first few chapters aren’t very well done imo. If you’ve been on webnovel for a while, you should’ve noticed that most blurbs and synopses of fanfics aren’t very good, which is why you have to skim stories sometimes. Honestly, my opinion of this fanfic wasn’t that good even after skimming, but fanfic about the hunger games are rare, which is why I’m keeping it in my library for now. Also, I disagree with your opinion that being too detailed can never be a bad thing. Describing the same thing more than once will get old, incredibly fast. If you’re trying to add detail to the story, it’s important to describe many things, and not describing the same thing over and over again, which the op said the author was doing. Additionally, your comment wasn’t very helpful either. Being constructive requires you to be clear and concise, since there’s no point in constructive comments if you can’t follow them. Your comment looks like someone vomiting words, and theres a lot of unnecessary parts. I’m not gonna address the rest of points cause I don’t have the time nor energy to go over your comment word by word.
tt_g
tt_gLv4tt_g

Yea I skimmed your comment. It has no spacing at all and overall just reads horribly. You sound like a narcissistic young master here and I didn’t want to give myself a headache for no reason. My point was that there were several things I disagreed with, and going by your definition, your comment wasn’t constructive either. You just told what you disagreed with and didn’t provide any actionable recommendations. One of those things was skimming, and I provided a scenario where skimming could be helpful. As I said, I’m not gonna go over every single sentence like you did, I just gave an example of a point I disagreed with.

Voterat:"It made me just start skimming through large sections." That is a direct quote from S10 of the review, are you trying to gaslight me or something? Also why is there so much fluff in your comment, I know what a hook is you don't need to explain it. "But, I stand firm when I say that having a lot of details in a novel is a good thing. Sure you could have too many details, but I think that this fanfiction has not crossed that threshold." There is a quote from my comment. "Now I have to agree that there are unnecessary words that could be deleted, and the author has a tendency to sometimes repeat themselves too often." There is another quote from my comment. "S4: I don't know what this is in relation to, but if its to the writing I have to agree it could use some editing. I'd recommend the author get a friend or family to read through the chapters to make sure there isn't any weird bits in the writing." Another one. "S10: So you where skimming? Skimming in novels is not that good and can lead you to missing a lot of information, just look up "skimming UNC learning center"" Another one. Did you skim my comment? Because you must have only gotten the gist of it. Take back your 2 cents, I don't want them.
Voterat
VoteratLv4Voterat

You just admitted to skimming my comment and the novel, you are in no position to give any critique or rebuttal. This shows immensely when everything you said to disagree with(except for the skimming part) was something I said originally and thus we agree. If you had just come and only disagreed with my stance on skimming, then this would be a different conversation. But your tack-on of all the other things you "disagree" with, shows that your skimming made you misunderstand all of my comments. If you sat down and actually read my comments, you would realize that we agree on a lot of stuff. For example, we agree the author repeats himself too much, we also agree that too many details can be a bad thing.You also didn't realize that I did give by definition multiple bits of constructive criticism throughout my comment. For example, I said the author has a major problem with telling instead of showing and gave an example of how it's supposed to be done. But you didn't even recognize that with your skimming.So your entire argument about skimming falls flat, basically through your comments, you are advertising why it is a bad idea to skim, showcasing how your use of skimming led to you grossly misunderstanding my comments.

tt_g:Yea I skimmed your comment. It has no spacing at all and overall just reads horribly. You sound like a narcissistic young master here and I didn’t want to give myself a headache for no reason. My point was that there were several things I disagreed with, and going by your definition, your comment wasn’t constructive either. You just told what you disagreed with and didn’t provide any actionable recommendations. One of those things was skimming, and I provided a scenario where skimming could be helpful. As I said, I’m not gonna go over every single sentence like you did, I just gave an example of a point I disagreed with.
GeeGeeTeeWuu
GeeGeeTeeWuuLv13GeeGeeTeeWuu

don't bother with that dude, "it's hard to win an argument against a smart person, impossible against a stupid person."

tt_g:Yea I skimmed your comment. It has no spacing at all and overall just reads horribly. You sound like a narcissistic young master here and I didn’t want to give myself a headache for no reason. My point was that there were several things I disagreed with, and going by your definition, your comment wasn’t constructive either. You just told what you disagreed with and didn’t provide any actionable recommendations. One of those things was skimming, and I provided a scenario where skimming could be helpful. As I said, I’m not gonna go over every single sentence like you did, I just gave an example of a point I disagreed with.
Voterat
VoteratLv4Voterat

You do realize that when quoting somebody, you need to cite their name. Failing to do so is technically plagiarism.

GeeGeeTeeWuu:don't bother with that dude, "it's hard to win an argument against a smart person, impossible against a stupid person."
GeeGeeTeeWuu
GeeGeeTeeWuuLv13GeeGeeTeeWuu

"it's hard to win an argument against a smart person, impossible to win against an idiot" - a random person.

Voterat:You do realize that when quoting somebody, you need to cite their name. Failing to do so is technically plagiarism.
GeeGeeTeeWuu
GeeGeeTeeWuuLv13GeeGeeTeeWuu

besides, I didn't pass it off as my own, so it wouldn't be plagerism

Voterat:You do realize that when quoting somebody, you need to cite their name. Failing to do so is technically plagiarism.
Voterat
VoteratLv4Voterat

Why are you arguing with me? After all, you think I'm stupid. Shouldn't you be following your own advice? Or is this some kind of double standard?

GeeGeeTeeWuu:besides, I didn't pass it off as my own, so it wouldn't be plagerism
GeeGeeTeeWuu
GeeGeeTeeWuuLv13GeeGeeTeeWuu

I don't even know who you are? You responded to my comment, I corrected my comment and a little while later I found some info i dencided to add on. I'm not arguing

Voterat:Why are you arguing with me? After all, you think I'm stupid. Shouldn't you be following your own advice? Or is this some kind of double standard?
William_Stewart
William_StewartLv3William_Stewart

I feel you man, there will always be someone unhappy. Just try your best to write a story you enjoy.

SrCuervo:I just don't get it, some people like it and some people don't. First, he was interested in creating a flawed character, not incredibly impressive from the start. Yes, the protagonist will not be perfect but they will understand it as the chapters progress. One of the main purposes for traveling to unknown worlds is not wanting to be in yours, tell me, who would be willing to travel to a dangerous world on their own? In my opinion, it had to give the protagonist a backstory and a purpose. I assure you that the protagonist will not be dark or lonely throughout the story. I'm giving you spoilers, but I can't find any other way to explain this situation to you. Throughout the worlds, the protagonist will grow, learn, fail, and appreciate life. They are very used to a character traveling to a world in a single chapter, giving them wishes, and the story begins. This novel is different and I hope you will understand it later.
akzhol04
akzhol04Lv1akzhol04

I agree that overly detailed explanations with synonyms and other repetitive sentences annoy me.