Review Detail of AnotherAtlas in Undertale: The Scientist
Review detail
Pretty nice, but mostly cause there's no competition. I mean, come on, the second place UT fanfic has the yuri tag. Now onto the issues. Some grammar mistakes here and there. The character swears too much and it's obnoxious. Asgore seems much more aggressive here, but maybe we can excuse that with 1 it's just the start of the war and 2 Frisk was a kid. It's slice of life, which is a synonym for boring and time wasting. 4th wall breaking isn't funny enough to justify how much it takes you out of the story. Hopefully it doesn't pop up much more. I think the author fails, at least so far, to make things make sense. There's a whole ecosystem underground where the monsters somehow stay alive, have alcohol, vegetables and meat, etc etc that can be explored and explained to make the underground make much more sense. And yet what do we get? A brainlessly inserted "bing" engine. Ultimately, I think the author fails to make an attempt to maintain the world and story's immersion and suspension of disbelief.
Undertale: The Scientist
BoredMansDream
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I normally really appreciate reviews likw this as they give me knowledge to improve, but there are a few problems. 1, you complain about the MC swearing too much, even though he swears a normal amount except for the very beginning, where he is literally in a car crash. You panic. That is normal. This piece of criticism is useless, especially as it relates to your own personal opinion. 2, ‘Slice of Life is synonomous with boring.’ My guy, it has the slice of life tag and YOU chose to click on it. How is that my problem? Useless advice. 3, ‘fourth wall breaking isn’t funny and breaks immersion’. My MC has broken the fourth wall a total of three times at most and none of them have ever been complained about breaking immersion. You are the only person to complain about it and considering the previous advice, it is likely useless as well and you are likely the only person who finds the fourth wall breaking a problem. 4, you say that I fail to introduce how the economy and the world works while the MC is trying to get his life together. Tell me, is your first priority when you moved out of your parents basement to look at what computer stores are in the area or was your first focus to get a house and a job? The world has barely been introduced, yes, but it is a slice of life and there is plenty of time to introduce what is necessary. As such, this piece of advice is useless I think that the reader fails to maintain a reasonable review, as I have proven his every complaint irrelevant. Thank you. Have a good day
The slice of life thing wasn't a critique, I just can't comprehend why someone would enjoy a story where nothing really happens or changes. Also, adding "have a nice day" at the end is just passive aggressive.
BoredMansDream:I normally really appreciate reviews likw this as they give me knowledge to improve, but there are a few problems. 1, you complain about the MC swearing too much, even though he swears a normal amount except for the very beginning, where he is literally in a car crash. You panic. That is normal. This piece of criticism is useless, especially as it relates to your own personal opinion. 2, ‘Slice of Life is synonomous with boring.’ My guy, it has the slice of life tag and YOU chose to click on it. How is that my problem? Useless advice. 3, ‘fourth wall breaking isn’t funny and breaks immersion’. My MC has broken the fourth wall a total of three times at most and none of them have ever been complained about breaking immersion. You are the only person to complain about it and considering the previous advice, it is likely useless as well and you are likely the only person who finds the fourth wall breaking a problem. 4, you say that I fail to introduce how the economy and the world works while the MC is trying to get his life together. Tell me, is your first priority when you moved out of your parents basement to look at what computer stores are in the area or was your first focus to get a house and a job? The world has barely been introduced, yes, but it is a slice of life and there is plenty of time to introduce what is necessary. As such, this piece of advice is useless I think that the reader fails to maintain a reasonable review, as I have proven his every complaint irrelevant. Thank you. Have a good day
AnotherAtlas:The slice of life thing wasn't a critique, I just can't comprehend why someone would enjoy a story where nothing really happens or changes. Also, adding "have a nice day" at the end is just passive aggressive.
3 wall breaks (by your count), 22 chapters (if I remember correctly), that's 1 4th wall break every ~7 chapters on average. I read and have read a lot of novels and the second novel with most 4th wall breaks has about the same amount as yours... in 250 chapters. And discounting deadpool comics, that's an ok % to have.
AnotherAtlas:3 wall breaks (by your count), 22 chapters (if I remember correctly), that's 1 4th wall break every ~7 chapters on average. I read and have read a lot of novels and the second novel with most 4th wall breaks has about the same amount as yours... in 250 chapters. And discounting deadpool comics, that's an ok % to have.
The_Pope_Of_Coom:And yet, you still can’t explain why you are the only one who has a problem with it, huh?