Review Detail of Billy_Bags in We Die Young
Review detail
Having trained in MMA and coached various combat sports, I can confidently say that this author truly knows their stuff. Right from the start, I found myself thoroughly enjoying the book. The fight scenes are incredibly well-written, leaving a strong impact. If you love combat that is detailed and accurate, look no further. While there are some minor structural issues that crop up, they become less important as the story progresses and writing improves. One example is the repetitive use of character names at the beginning of each paragraph. However, these issues quickly become less noticeable, making the story easier to follow. The main drawback is that the book introduces many characters/concepts early on, without giving enough context to develop a genuine connection to the world. Don't get it twisted, this book is still amazing and I'm definitely going to be a weekly reader.
We Die Young
ForerunnerOfSky
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Billy_Bags:I did see that! I also saw that you mentioned Demetrious Johnson, and I actually trained at his gym a few years ago. I am much larger than him, so we never trained together, but it was a cool time.In my experience, when writing about grappling, it is always helpful to break down the main aspects of what is happening. Think of how a commentary team does it, specifically Daniel Cormier.Using your Rear Naked Choke example, I would write it like this:A's fingers tightened around B's arm, seeking leverage. However, B twisted his body, using his own strength to break free. With a sudden surge of energy, B launched a counterattack. He wrapped his leg behind A's, destabilizing his stance, and drove his shoulder into A's chest, knocking him off balance. As they hit the ground, the scramble began. The struggle became a test of endurance and willpower, as they strained against each other's relentless resistance. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, B managed to secure a firm hold on the back of A using his legs. His arm snaked around A's neck, tightening the grip in a lock known as a rear naked choke.Essentially, it is the action followed by what that specific action does to the target. And, it doesn't have to be hyper detailed, like you don't need say how after he snakes the hand under it locks on to the elbow if his other arm. The hand not around the neck presses down on the top of his head blah blah blah. Using every little detail of grappling match would make it take too long to maintain attention. For both those who know and those who don't. To me, that is an easier way to write it for the common reader. I hope this helps you get started.
Thanks, I don’t know if you saw it in the synopsis but I’m a huge mma fan and a highschool. I‘ve been doing BJJ for a few weeks and I’m thinking about taking Muay Thai. So I put a lot of effort into making the fight scenes realistic and smooth as possible. Though if you have any recommendation for how to write grappling scenes. In later chapters I do include some grappling like the main character slipping a punch, countering to the body and taking the opponents back and dragging him to the ground and initiating a rear naked choke. But I don’t know how to write in a way that some untrained reader would understand something like a scramble. Maybe something Iike The two men desperately scrambled for better position, as they rolled on the ground,the other man emerged victorious taking mount, sitting on the mans chest as he unleashed brutal strikes to his face. I’m not sure but if you have any suggestions please tell me. I want to includede some more grappling but I’m confused how it would be written.
ForerunnerOfSky:Thanks, I don’t know if you saw it in the synopsis but I’m a huge mma fan and a highschool. I‘ve been doing BJJ for a few weeks and I’m thinking about taking Muay Thai. So I put a lot of effort into making the fight scenes realistic and smooth as possible. Though if you have any recommendation for how to write grappling scenes. In later chapters I do include some grappling like the main character slipping a punch, countering to the body and taking the opponents back and dragging him to the ground and initiating a rear naked choke. But I don’t know how to write in a way that some untrained reader would understand something like a scramble. Maybe something Iike The two men desperately scrambled for better position, as they rolled on the ground,the other man emerged victorious taking mount, sitting on the mans chest as he unleashed brutal strikes to his face. I’m not sure but if you have any suggestions please tell me. I want to includede some more grappling but I’m confused how it would be written.
I did see that! I also saw that you mentioned Demetrious Johnson, and I actually trained at his gym a few years ago. I am much larger than him, so we never trained together, but it was a cool time.In my experience, when writing about grappling, it is always helpful to break down the main aspects of what is happening. Think of how a commentary team does it, specifically Daniel Cormier.Using your Rear Naked Choke example, I would write it like this:A's fingers tightened around B's arm, seeking leverage. However, B twisted his body, using his own strength to break free. With a sudden surge of energy, B launched a counterattack. He wrapped his leg behind A's, destabilizing his stance, and drove his shoulder into A's chest, knocking him off balance. As they hit the ground, the scramble began. The struggle became a test of endurance and willpower, as they strained against each other's relentless resistance. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, B managed to secure a firm hold on the back of A using his legs. His arm snaked around A's neck, tightening the grip in a lock known as a rear naked choke.Essentially, it is the action followed by what that specific action does to the target. And, it doesn't have to be hyper detailed, like you don't need say how after he snakes the hand under it locks on to the elbow if his other arm. The hand not around the neck presses down on the top of his head blah blah blah. Using every little detail of grappling match would make it take too long to maintain attention. For both those who know and those who don't. To me, that is an easier way to write it for the common reader. I hope this helps you get started.
ForerunnerOfSky:Thanks, I don’t know if you saw it in the synopsis but I’m a huge mma fan and a highschool. I‘ve been doing BJJ for a few weeks and I’m thinking about taking Muay Thai. So I put a lot of effort into making the fight scenes realistic and smooth as possible. Though if you have any recommendation for how to write grappling scenes. In later chapters I do include some grappling like the main character slipping a punch, countering to the body and taking the opponents back and dragging him to the ground and initiating a rear naked choke. But I don’t know how to write in a way that some untrained reader would understand something like a scramble. Maybe something Iike The two men desperately scrambled for better position, as they rolled on the ground,the other man emerged victorious taking mount, sitting on the mans chest as he unleashed brutal strikes to his face. I’m not sure but if you have any suggestions please tell me. I want to includede some more grappling but I’m confused how it would be written.
Even though not directly, he’s still Mighty Mouse, In my mind that suplex into arm should be called the mouse trap. Lol
Billy_Bags:I did see that! I also saw that you mentioned Demetrious Johnson, and I actually trained at his gym a few years ago. I am much larger than him, so we never trained together, but it was a cool time.In my experience, when writing about grappling, it is always helpful to break down the main aspects of what is happening. Think of how a commentary team does it, specifically Daniel Cormier.Using your Rear Naked Choke example, I would write it like this:A's fingers tightened around B's arm, seeking leverage. However, B twisted his body, using his own strength to break free. With a sudden surge of energy, B launched a counterattack. He wrapped his leg behind A's, destabilizing his stance, and drove his shoulder into A's chest, knocking him off balance. As they hit the ground, the scramble began. The struggle became a test of endurance and willpower, as they strained against each other's relentless resistance. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, B managed to secure a firm hold on the back of A using his legs. His arm snaked around A's neck, tightening the grip in a lock known as a rear naked choke.Essentially, it is the action followed by what that specific action does to the target. And, it doesn't have to be hyper detailed, like you don't need say how after he snakes the hand under it locks on to the elbow if his other arm. The hand not around the neck presses down on the top of his head blah blah blah. Using every little detail of grappling match would make it take too long to maintain attention. For both those who know and those who don't. To me, that is an easier way to write it for the common reader. I hope this helps you get started.
ForerunnerOfSky:Even though not directly, he’s still Mighty Mouse, In my mind that suplex into arm should be called the mouse trap. Lol
Though I will say Gyun did originally train only in the sword as I do state in a chapter. *whispers* ”~foreshadowing~”
Billy_Bags:Somehow, none of the spacing made it into that message, sorry about that.