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Review Detail of HeavenlyDemonCult in Marvel: Horus, God of Evolution

Review detail

HeavenlyDemonCult
HeavenlyDemonCultLv121yrHeavenlyDemonCult

It's a story with great potential, but the MC's intelligence doesn't make sense. He's too stupid to have a level 13 intellect, no offense (but possibly already offending), he can't be focused, knowing his uncle is going to kill and disembowel his father he'll just wait and then "I'll get revenge and get the that is rightfully mine" with something that could be avoided, then he becomes a typical dense protagonist with brainless plot armor, all he should have done was just have it planned. For the love of it, he has the EVO and evolution deity, plus a pantheon of personal deities (light/sun, Sky and War), of course leaving out the 13th level intellect, that's already ridiculously bad, he could be much better. Remember Breniac, Lex Lutor or Jor el (supernam's father) use them as a basis for intelligence (they are all beings with great intellect), you don't have to be cold and calculating, but it doesn't make sense for him to just wait, ("I know that my father is going to die, what do I do? I think I'll watch it, wow he really died), he could ask his father to postpone the coronation to prepare against his uncle in secret (so many easy ways to prevent this). Second in front of Ra, you had many better requests, such as Ra teaching how to use divinity (he is a god of war, he gets more as he fights, he can use the model of Ares from DC), knowledge or even temporary protection against Set, for him to get stronger during this period, thus opening a "war on the leftovers" (murder, hidden fights among others, for Set to try to take power, but failing or succeeding, it depends on you, in the middle of that your parents use all their power to send him away and then he will end up in another ver so), but please stop these trips without logic. I'll stop here, but know that your story has a lot of potential but lacks a bit of logic.

altalt

Marvel: Horus, God of Evolution

RealDarkSeraph

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Replies8

Space_Fox
Space_FoxLv12Space_Fox

personality has nothing to do with recognizing what options you have, something that hr doesn't do

RealDarkSeraph:Unlike other authors, I try to get better with the criticism given to me. This is my first time writing. I am fairly new. My other two books are there as well. MC will definitely be much smarter in his decisions. However, acquiring thwt level of intellect doesn’t mean his whole personality changes and becomes some Chad genius. 13-th level intellect just means more calculating power. Osiris HAD to die. It’s literally what happens in history and in comics. Marvel comics pantheons stims from history/myth. That Ra part was a bit dumb I admit tho.
RealDarkSeraph
RealDarkSeraphAuthorRealDarkSeraph

Unlike other authors, I try to get better with the criticism given to me. This is my first time writing. I am fairly new. My other two books are there as well. MC will definitely be much smarter in his decisions. However, acquiring thwt level of intellect doesn’t mean his whole personality changes and becomes some Chad genius. 13-th level intellect just means more calculating power. Osiris HAD to die. It’s literally what happens in history and in comics. Marvel comics pantheons stims from history/myth. That Ra part was a bit dumb I admit tho.

Aegerax_The_First
Aegerax_The_FirstLv3Aegerax_The_First

13th level intellect means calculating power in the sense that a calculator is programmed to do a thing only when input is given and it is trained in such a way but in the sense of a human brain or a godly brain it should work differently as our brain has neurons that means 13th level intellect is essentially highly dense amount of neurons which would not only increase calculating power as you say but also perception,scheming so many different things. His thoughts must be like a game of chess which he will always win and he will always find a way out. Forcing stupidity or ignorance of a character does not give 'personality' it just makes the author look very amateurish(this was not meant to offend but to tell you that even though your writing is grammatically readable it does not reflect the powers which you have given your character).

RealDarkSeraph:Unlike other authors, I try to get better with the criticism given to me. This is my first time writing. I am fairly new. My other two books are there as well. MC will definitely be much smarter in his decisions. However, acquiring thwt level of intellect doesn’t mean his whole personality changes and becomes some Chad genius. 13-th level intellect just means more calculating power. Osiris HAD to die. It’s literally what happens in history and in comics. Marvel comics pantheons stims from history/myth. That Ra part was a bit dumb I admit tho.
RealDarkSeraph
RealDarkSeraphAuthorRealDarkSeraph

Once again, scheming is a character trait and not a perk of having intellect. All the smartest minds of the world have some time of type social or psychological problem. imagine what it would be like for him to have 13th level intellect? Like, y’all are just equating what u see in comics and tv shows to what is actually real life.

Aegerax_The_First:13th level intellect means calculating power in the sense that a calculator is programmed to do a thing only when input is given and it is trained in such a way but in the sense of a human brain or a godly brain it should work differently as our brain has neurons that means 13th level intellect is essentially highly dense amount of neurons which would not only increase calculating power as you say but also perception,scheming so many different things. His thoughts must be like a game of chess which he will always win and he will always find a way out. Forcing stupidity or ignorance of a character does not give 'personality' it just makes the author look very amateurish(this was not meant to offend but to tell you that even though your writing is grammatically readable it does not reflect the powers which you have given your character).
Honoured_Writer
Honoured_WriterLv4Honoured_Writer

No thirteenth level intellect also includes creativity and logical thinking which the mc really lacks especially when it comes to the options he is given and the ways he could utilise his divinity but chooses not to because you supposedly added personality (translation: you dumbed him down so you could make him conform to the blandness of your plot)

RealDarkSeraph:Unlike other authors, I try to get better with the criticism given to me. This is my first time writing. I am fairly new. My other two books are there as well. MC will definitely be much smarter in his decisions. However, acquiring thwt level of intellect doesn’t mean his whole personality changes and becomes some Chad genius. 13-th level intellect just means more calculating power. Osiris HAD to die. It’s literally what happens in history and in comics. Marvel comics pantheons stims from history/myth. That Ra part was a bit dumb I admit tho.
I_Am_Death
I_Am_DeathLv15I_Am_Death

Search: Intelligence - SuperFriends Wiki - Fandom. it should give you some insight on what 13th level intellect is capable of

RealDarkSeraph:Once again, scheming is a character trait and not a perk of having intellect. All the smartest minds of the world have some time of type social or psychological problem. imagine what it would be like for him to have 13th level intellect? Like, y’all are just equating what u see in comics and tv shows to what is actually real life.
Zero_8515
Zero_8515Lv4Zero_8515

I have to agree with you on some of what you're saying but at the same time dumbing down intelligent characters is the only way to right them like silver age Superman can't have a good storyline if no one can take him, so overall it's categorizing intelligence and over stating it is a bad idea for story writing because it's like bad lie in which it's easy to proven wrong it would be better to go with enhanced learning, photographic memory and instant recall.

Honoured_Writer:No thirteenth level intellect also includes creativity and logical thinking which the mc really lacks especially when it comes to the options he is given and the ways he could utilise his divinity but chooses not to because you supposedly added personality (translation: you dumbed him down so you could make him conform to the blandness of your plot)
SpoiledSecrets
SpoiledSecretsLv4SpoiledSecrets

Yes, but this is a story, not real life. Not to mention, that level of intellect would cause mental disorders in real life too.

RealDarkSeraph:Once again, scheming is a character trait and not a perk of having intellect. All the smartest minds of the world have some time of type social or psychological problem. imagine what it would be like for him to have 13th level intellect? Like, y’all are just equating what u see in comics and tv shows to what is actually real life.