Review Detail of lairfin in The Demon System[twice as evil].
Review detail
Hi, a little feedback while I’m dropping the novel after chapter 15. There are repetitive breaks of tense, and confusions in the pronouns of the MC. Those are not prohibitive but the novel might benefit from correcting these.I was coming with expectations about the genre of the novel. First chapter feels optionnal, second chapter would have made a better start right into action. Then we are immersed in the usual school life but still no sign of systems. World is built around the disappearance of demons, with angels. Suddenly they’re taught about space warriors and aliens. I believe you’ll introduce the system soon after but it’s too late for me and the mix of genres is a little bit too much for my obtuse mind. I believe mentioning just fragments of these elements in chapter 2 and 3 would have smoothen things up. Hope that feedback will help you in future works. Good luck and perseverance!
The Demon System[twice as evil].
Ebube_Uzoma
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thanks for your reasonable contribution, but if you read on from that chapter I think you'd see where it talks about system. plus it's an advanced world, far more advanced than now, so why we learn about the regular astronauts they study about the advanced space rangers, the same which MC Oliver Logan dreams of becoming. Full display of the system would soon come into play on next chapter. This first phase is actually a very important part of the book, as I'm working on a very twisted and interesting story. thanks again, and please don't stop reading, I can guarantee this book is worth the time.:-)