Review Detail of John2018 in One Piece: Reborn as Enel
Review detail
A predictable cliche of a self insert being reborn in the one piece world and growing overpowered at a extremely fast rate due to foreknowledge. Only to serve as a fix it tool to save characters that fans liked from dying and killing characters that fans dislike. Also serves as a fix it tool to bring down the world government and the marines at a faster rate than in canon. As well as to serve as a shield to ensure the protection of the straw hat pirate crew and to assist them in achieving their dreams. It would have been more appropriate for the main character to simply join the straw hat pirate crew and serve as the secondary protagonist. Disclaimer: I stopped reading after the War of Marineford.
One Piece: Reborn as Enel
VeganMaster
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You're correct that the straw hats aren't mentioned a lot in the story but eventually you're going to have to address their situation. Well as the author I guess you don't have too but it would be good to do so and then move on from them. Also what I am saying is the actions of the MC have or at least should have consequences. Those consequences favor the straw hats at that point in the story from my perspective and while the MC might not have killed any marines. The whitebeard pirates did so and this still weakens them. I mean yes, the marines were probably just canon fodder but they're still people and important too, lol. Also even though the MC befriended Garp. Garp is still a traitor to the marines and therefore doesn't become a future marine instructor training the next generation of marines like in canon. I believe this should be considered weakening the marines. Correct or do you somehow have Garp return to the marines or at least be in their good graces after the war?
VeganMaster:But weakening the marines and helping the straw hats had nothing to do with his goals... You're phrasing everything in relation to the straw hats, and you're acting as if they were somehow the mc's target when they were and still are nothing more than an afterthought(and still barely even mentioned in the story). The reason for saving Ace and WB was to befriend the WB Pirates, that was mainly it. In doing so he also befriended Garp(he saved both his grandsons in the war), and he also avoided killing or harming any marines in the war, so as to not completely burn all bridges with them. Sure, the marines may be weakened publically, but they really didn't suffer many losses at this point.
It's almost as if you're only looking at actions and not skipping over just about any of the reasons behind these actions, and not trying to think about any reasons either I guess. Most of the story has little to nothing to do with the straw hats, and you seem to have skipped over just about any relationship that was built up and every character introduced. Like, if you think for one second that the mc aims to take down the Marines then you've just been reading another story basically.
With the death of Teach, Luffy's path to becoming Pirate King becomes easier. So even if the MC killed Teach for personal reasons he still helped the straw hats indirectly. Also by having Garp no longer become a marine instructor like he was in canon to teach the next generation of marines. You have inadvertently weakened the marines. Also by saving Ace and Whitebeard, you have destroyed the public's perception that the Marines and the World Government can protect the people thereby weakening them. Also with Ace alive he will probably train to become stronger so not as to become captured again. By becoming stronger he'll become a greater threat to the marines and he will help Luffy achieve his dreams since he and Whitebeard have no desire to be pirate king. Therefore the MC has helped the strawhats and weakened the marines directly or indirectly by his actions.
VeganMaster:It's almost as if you're only looking at actions and not skipping over just about any of the reasons behind these actions, and not trying to think about any reasons either I guess. Most of the story has little to nothing to do with the straw hats, and you seem to have skipped over just about any relationship that was built up and every character introduced. Like, if you think for one second that the mc aims to take down the Marines then you've just been reading another story basically.
But weakening the marines and helping the straw hats had nothing to do with his goals... You're phrasing everything in relation to the straw hats, and you're acting as if they were somehow the mc's target when they were and still are nothing more than an afterthought(and still barely even mentioned in the story). The reason for saving Ace and WB was to befriend the WB Pirates, that was mainly it. In doing so he also befriended Garp(he saved both his grandsons in the war), and he also avoided killing or harming any marines in the war, so as to not completely burn all bridges with them. Sure, the marines may be weakened publically, but they really didn't suffer many losses at this point.
John2018:With the death of Teach, Luffy's path to becoming Pirate King becomes easier. So even if the MC killed Teach for personal reasons he still helped the straw hats indirectly. Also by having Garp no longer become a marine instructor like he was in canon to teach the next generation of marines. You have inadvertently weakened the marines. Also by saving Ace and Whitebeard, you have destroyed the public's perception that the Marines and the World Government can protect the people thereby weakening them. Also with Ace alive he will probably train to become stronger so not as to become captured again. By becoming stronger he'll become a greater threat to the marines and he will help Luffy achieve his dreams since he and Whitebeard have no desire to be pirate king. Therefore the MC has helped the strawhats and weakened the marines directly or indirectly by his actions.
The situation with the marines will shift a lot, but that doesn't mean the MC aimed for that to happen specifically. I don't really wanna spoil what happens with them and Garp in the future tho(in case some ppl read this). And it really can't be helped that the MC's actions affected the StrawHats :)) Literally anything he could've done would've still affected them. Interfering at all with anything would have affected them. Positive or negative doesn't really matter much as they aren't the final goal(arguably his interference isn't all positive, he completely derailed the plot and the outcome is basically impossible to just predict at this point)
John2018:You're correct that the straw hats aren't mentioned a lot in the story but eventually you're going to have to address their situation. Well as the author I guess you don't have too but it would be good to do so and then move on from them. Also what I am saying is the actions of the MC have or at least should have consequences. Those consequences favor the straw hats at that point in the story from my perspective and while the MC might not have killed any marines. The whitebeard pirates did so and this still weakens them. I mean yes, the marines were probably just canon fodder but they're still people and important too, lol. Also even though the MC befriended Garp. Garp is still a traitor to the marines and therefore doesn't become a future marine instructor training the next generation of marines like in canon. I believe this should be considered weakening the marines. Correct or do you somehow have Garp return to the marines or at least be in their good graces after the war?
That's what I've been trying to say. That the MC actions whether directly or indirectly will affect the straw hats and that at that point in time it was positive. While for the marines it was negative. Well it seems I'll have to go back and read your story to see what happens to Garp later on. Also a bit of advice I would hold on updating your story. Since as I assume you know the manga is in the egghead arc and already some mysteries and even more questions are being revealed. Of course you don't have too. Your story is original and you've probably been creating your own path and storylines that differ greatly from canon already.
VeganMaster:The situation with the marines will shift a lot, but that doesn't mean the MC aimed for that to happen specifically. I don't really wanna spoil what happens with them and Garp in the future tho(in case some ppl read this). And it really can't be helped that the MC's actions affected the StrawHats :)) Literally anything he could've done would've still affected them. Interfering at all with anything would have affected them. Positive or negative doesn't really matter much as they aren't the final goal(arguably his interference isn't all positive, he completely derailed the plot and the outcome is basically impossible to just predict at this point)
Well, I dunno, it just seemed that you were saying the MC's actions just revolve around the Straw Hats, and they don't really, as they just happen to be affected since they still are people that exist. Also, recent reveals are interesting :)) Though some of the things I had already revealed turned out to be different in the new ark as Oda confirmed more and more things. I can't really do much about it, besides just slapping the AU disclaimer in the story(possibly in the desc when I remember to do so). A lot of stuff I've already been planning out for a while, so I can't just modify it now, too late for that :)) When I write another OP fanfic in the future I'll be able to use more cannon tho
John2018:That's what I've been trying to say. That the MC actions whether directly or indirectly will affect the straw hats and that at that point in time it was positive. While for the marines it was negative. Well it seems I'll have to go back and read your story to see what happens to Garp later on. Also a bit of advice I would hold on updating your story. Since as I assume you know the manga is in the egghead arc and already some mysteries and even more questions are being revealed. Of course you don't have too. Your story is original and you've probably been creating your own path and storylines that differ greatly from canon already.
Let me amend or just change my statement. What I mean to say is the MC's actions doesn't revolve around the straw hats but that some of his actions simply seemed to have been positive for them. Also since that's the case just finish your story how you had planned and I wish you well on your current and future stories.
VeganMaster:Well, I dunno, it just seemed that you were saying the MC's actions just revolve around the Straw Hats, and they don't really, as they just happen to be affected since they still are people that exist. Also, recent reveals are interesting :)) Though some of the things I had already revealed turned out to be different in the new ark as Oda confirmed more and more things. I can't really do much about it, besides just slapping the AU disclaimer in the story(possibly in the desc when I remember to do so). A lot of stuff I've already been planning out for a while, so I can't just modify it now, too late for that :)) When I write another OP fanfic in the future I'll be able to use more cannon tho
