Review Detail of Mayline in Beneath The Cloudy Sky

Okay hear me out. This story has a lot of potential. The chapters are very long and there are plenty of characters with different personalities. The author makes it easy for us to relate to their struggles with his narration. The plot is great as well and MayDreamer's self-criticism is a rare pearl any reader should cherish. He pays attention to his story and how he could improve it. However I don't think giving away the character's personal characteristics in one go, even if it's one per chapter, is a good idea. You should use body language or talk about the way they react to the event unfolding. It's the reader's duty to wrap their opinion around the characters of your story, through their acts. From the prologue to the fifth chapter alas, I had a little troubles reading through your typing mistakes (uppercase letter a little random) and it left me a little offbeat. Thanks for your great work so far, I look forward to read the next chapter.