Review Detail of Zwoz in Flower On The Ash

The pacing of the story is good. There is a clear and defined relationship between the different characters. Notes to the author: There are several grammatical issues, and jumps from an action or moment to an internal dialogue within the same sentence and it can be throw the reader out of the story. The first chapter could use some love to be a little more attention grabbing. This story is very much like all the rest out there with this set up, I recommend finding something to make it unique among the rest and introducing it early.