The problem is people don't understand what the novel is about. it's not about a ruthless manipulator mc. it may have started like that in the beginning, the mc gets attached to his friends. he is not the first priority for his friends, sure they care about him but he won't be their first priority. But mc goes above and beyond for his friends. he doesn't have a mighty goal for his own, but goes along with others's agenda. Mc is not shown as a treacheorous or scheming character apart from the initial chapters.
Guiltythree
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LIKEI would say that the main character doesn't really know what he wants himself either. He was ready to die after all, then lives. The main character does change what he wants as time goes on, at first, he would kill someone if he thought it would help him more than hurt him. As time goes on though, he gets more reluctant to do so. I would recommend looking it as someone else who makes mistakes rather than it being a self-insert. I do wish he was more cunning sometime though.