Review Detail of LucienNg in Tell Me When The War Is Over: Napalm Skies

Not bad, not bad at all. In fact, the plot and pace are both good so far. I like your idea, its creative, as well as how the story is progressing. A small reminder though - maybe divide the paragraphs a bit more will help? The first two to three chapters were a little hard to read, but it got better later on, so I guess thats fine :). Overall, great work.