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Review Detail of GuzaSan in Sage's Cultivation: Mage in Cultivation World

Review detail

GuzaSan
GuzaSanLv32yrGuzaSan

Writing quality has some flaws to it but eventually what really matters is the flow and how fun it is to actually read and although it has some mistakes but nothing major. The prompt is a sage from presumably a fantasy-type world with magic transmigrating to a cultivation world and within that cultivation world, he seems to want to explore whatever he couldn't in his original fantasy world. Not many chapters have been released as of yet but in my opinion, while the prompt is really good, way too much stuff happens within those 11 chapters and it's just really tiring. Like the young master that took a good portion of 2 chapters for pretty much nothing, He might encounter the young master's family later or he won't but eventually, it's not really interesting to have this entire subplot branch out from just him bumping into someone. In 12 chapters he cured some city lord's daughter, fought with a young master from a tycoon family, saved a young lady of another house, combined the different energies he had and some other more minor events but I hope you get that these are all pretty big events and are the buildup for the rest of story atm and it just seems really rushed to me to just give each of these subplots barely 1 chapter and moreover this 1 chapter for each of them occupies a huge part of the 12 chapters that have been released so far so we don't get much info on the world background like the strength of cultivators, what even are cultivators in the first place - cultivators in other novels can definitely cast spells even outside of arrays so are cultivators in this world only able to strengthen their physique and practice martial skills? I can only assume he bought a cultivation technique of the lowest grade because of the price which is odd since either way from what you said it takes a lot of time and effort to transfer from one technique to another. Also, these little bits that are seemingly meaningless like him showing off his 'wealth' to some random attendant that is for some reason arrogant and it just doesn't make much sense for a clerk to be arrogant I mean most of their job is just being courteous. TL: DR - It feels to me that way too many events and flags are being squeezed into these 12 chapters. Creating the new energy for example should be a really big event and not some random thing that gets overshadowed by him overstaying in the cultivation room. IMO more time should be invested into expanding on the world background specifically the cultivation system before we start with all of these events (i.e. interaction with other characters that seems crucial to the plot).

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Sage's Cultivation: Mage in Cultivation World

yohananmikhael

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yohananmikhael
yohananmikhaelAuthoryohananmikhael

Thank you for the review. I agree with what you said but I already had made the partial outline of the story. What you said was covered in these outlines. (I have also made a draft for the future chapters which is 23 in total.) You mentioned the subplot and other situations. I think it was crucial as it will affect his view of the world. It was also mentioned that there are upper heavens which he considered as layers of the world and the one he was at was the lowest. I kind of wanted to show some aspects of the lower heaven. The world background won't be clearly explained until 15+. Since it is the lowest heaven, he can just roam around instead of searching for someone knowledgeable since he's still new in this world. He still has much to learn about the standards and some important common sense in the world. The first few chapters appeared to be rushed but he is roaming around. Still clueless about where to start, at least I think he is trying to adapt. And as for the third energy and other cultivation information about this world, will still be explained in future chapters. I also take into account the vastness of cultivation. As it was mentioned that this place was the lowest heaven, people in common can still achieve strengthening their physique and other extraordinary feats that mortals can't reach. (Also his view won't b remain still, it will change as he learns more things.) In other novels, cultivators can create a spell or mystical arts and they can do it too in this world. Well, I already mentioned that there will be still further explanations of things as he continues roaming and finding where to start. In these chapters, he won't have a companion until 15+. It will be where the plot starts and these 15 first chapters were there to support his story. Though I can't reach people's expectations, I will still try to do the best I can offer. Thank you for reading. And as for my writing, I can't help but flow with the time. I believe I will still improve when I continue to write. I can't rush the process, but still, thank you for pointing it out.