Review Detail of Littlezoid in Destroyer Of The Gods

So I just saw the author of this novel asked me to review it after reading a different review I made. I happen to be at work at the moment so it isn't in depth but I got a good feel for it from what I managed to read. In all honesty it is not half bad. The characters have personalities, a history, and interact like normal people. World building is interesting, the idea of a Galatic Alliance always means you can stretch your legs for character design/plot elements. You can see the passion in the writing, and I am assuming this is a new writer making their first work. My only real gripe is the grammar of the novel. Post, Current, and Past tensing seems to be all over the place creating difficulty for what point the story is currently at/referencing. The flavor of words is there, not a lot of repeats and some interesting descriptors. However sometimes the "impact" of a sentence can be ruined as there is to much "flavor" so an impactfull statement may fall flat in the crowd. Or they are just not used in the correct context. Another gripe I'd a general sense of over explaining. There was a line that stood out to me literally stating that a crowd of people some who are in suits, reporters, etc, is "foreshadowing" the arrival of someone important. I as a reader understand the context of a stated situation. It is the same as bad movie exposition where you have never seen a character before and then the MC says "O Bob you are my best friend, I have known you since I was 5, I would do anything for you!" Where as good exposition would be maybe the MC walks up slings his arm over Bob's shoulder and starts a conversation with him. I can infer that due to the physical touch and Bob not being upset they must know each other pretty well, and through that I can start inferring about their relationship until the next thing happens that would give me more info. Subtlety like that can really bring your writing to the next level. Finding that line to ride between over explaining and "having conversations from looking at eachother" can be hard. But with some effort it will be worth it in the long run and this can be applied to casual conversation in the story as well. Obviously I do not know what languages the author is fluent in so this may be as simple as English being a difficult language. But it seems more to me that they took "grab them by the eyes" and went a little to much with it. With some simple editing and R&D this could be a good novel so I do look forward to future chapters. At which point I will either update or make a different review.