Review Detail of FictionOnlyReader in HP: A Magical Journey [Complete]
Review detail
Review #2 [FictionOnlyReaders' Author Review] At the time of this post, this review is the 269th review of this story. (200+Nice!) Current Story stats: Regular chapters: 125 || Aux chapters: 1 Collections: 11.55K || Views: 3.47M || Average Word Count: 3.36K || Rating: 4.84 Stars My rating: 5 STARS || Reason: Because I like my story, that's it. My review was too long and wasn't being accepted, so I have broken it down and put it in comments. Please go down to see the rest. Just like always, Review, comment, add to the library and share this fic. Thx. Regards, FictionOnlyReader (LET'S GO!)
HP: A Magical Journey [Complete]
FictionOnlyReader
Liked by 192 people
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[Writing Quality] - Since the last review, I have definitely gotten better with grammatical mistakes. Along with my Editor: AlanL/Alan_Loo, those mistakes have gotten much better. Moving to my writing in general, I am moving toward more of a show-not-tell way of writing. From now on, dialogues and scenery descriptions will get an increased word count while the background-infodump will take a back seat, but the lore will still be strong with this one. I would like to thank Youtube and professional works if you see any progress in my writing.
[Stability of Updates] - At the time of this review, I am uploading at the rate of 1 chapter/day. Word count: {Mentioned Above}. Though this might change because I have started my post-grad, the load of my IRL work might catch up to me. Let's hope this doesn't happen because I love writing and wouldn't want to slow down or give this up.
[Story Developement] - We are finally at the Goblet of Fire book, meaning the Triwizard tournament is upon us. With the coming volumes, the interaction with the main cast will increase, but Quinn would still do his own thing. The Aquatic vault went a little too long for my taste, so the next vault needs to be just right so that vaults can redeem themselves. The lore thickens from the fourth book onwards, and the plot widens, so get ready for long volumes.
[World Background] - [Same thing as the last time.] For world-building, I have contributed with the cursed vaults. Another cause of divide between the readers. Some like it, and some don't. But, I am sticking with the vaults. They are my driving point of the story. * - Now, this is something that I always see spiking in the background of the comments. I know I wrote that Quinn would learn a lot of magic: I named many branches of magic in his first year. But that was before he found the vaults. Vaults take a lot from Quinn's time. And, even if they didn't, I am trying to space things out. I have many years to go through, I want some creative juice left for the future parts of the story. Mind-arts will return, elemental magic will make appearances, runes and wards are of interest. [Mind, Body, Soul] magic-line is still two-thirds unexplored. I have many ideas that need to be given adequate time, and I don't want Quinn to learn all of them in a single year. * Plus, I always try to bring learned magic back, give it screen time in the future. It takes me some thinking to maintain balance. I am consciously building my own magic learning speed and disregard the usual fanon quick, super-genius, learn-everything-in-a-year-timeline.
[Pacing] - It's going to slow down from the previous fast-paced. Not in an uncomfortable way. I will also try to keep every single chapter relevant and be of some use to the story. Though, I love the side-character chapters (some might call them filler, but I call them character development.) Be ready to see snippets of these in most of the chapters. Show-not-tell will be prominent, so a lot of interactions.
[Romantic Interest] - I put out a love interest poll. It was just to know what you guys think. The results (cos people wanna know!): First - OTT (One True Threesome: Daphne+Ivy) Second - Daphne Greengrass Third - Tie between Ivy Potter (OC) and Fleur Delacour Fourth - Luna Lovegood (but she is booked for the sister character) Fifth - Tracey Davis Sixth - Astoria Greengrass Seventh - Lily Potter and/or Sophie Greengrass . . . Then some other options that aren't worth mentioning. I MAY OR MAY NOT FOLLOW THE ABOVE RESULTS. THESE WERE THE READERS; THE FINAL DECISION IS UP TO ME.
I can't believe people actually voted for OTT đđ 'cause just thinking about the family of them both it seems questionable but I like it nonetheless. OTT all da fking wae
FictionOnlyReader:[Romantic Interest] - I put out a love interest poll. It was just to know what you guys think. The results (cos people wanna know!): First - OTT (One True Threesome: Daphne+Ivy) Second - Daphne Greengrass Third - Tie between Ivy Potter (OC) and Fleur Delacour Fourth - Luna Lovegood (but she is booked for the sister character) Fifth - Tracey Davis Sixth - Astoria Greengrass Seventh - Lily Potter and/or Sophie Greengrass . . . Then some other options that aren't worth mentioning. I MAY OR MAY NOT FOLLOW THE ABOVE RESULTS. THESE WERE THE READERS; THE FINAL DECISION IS UP TO ME.
Just a suggestion, but he should find himself in a desperate situation sometime soon and have to enter the sin vault. Because he grew and accepted what happened in the sin vault, he should be able to resist the effects somewhat (still be effected but limited enough to power through for that short while), find the secret of the vault and thats how he gets started (or maybe he has already started but needs the emotional aspect) on soul magic, like maybe this vault or the next one will need him to have defences on his soul. Or maybe he finds himeslf needing a power boost (not likely but still, he might need to destroy the goblet of fire or something. it is a horrible magical artefact used for binding people after all, undoubtedly made by extremely powerful magical beings) and using soul magic i imagine it would be possile to directly manipulate his own emotions in a balanced way like you mentioned him usually doing when he was recovering from the backlash after the world cup. it would make it easier to use magic with emotions in it like that because he would be directly manipuating his own soul instead of using occlumency for that part. anyway, that was just an idea of mine i simply had to write down. i dont really expect you to heed this or anything, just one of those niggling thoughts in my head that wont go away till i write it. :)
FictionOnlyReader:[World Background] - [Same thing as the last time.] For world-building, I have contributed with the cursed vaults. Another cause of divide between the readers. Some like it, and some don't. But, I am sticking with the vaults. They are my driving point of the story. * - Now, this is something that I always see spiking in the background of the comments. I know I wrote that Quinn would learn a lot of magic: I named many branches of magic in his first year. But that was before he found the vaults. Vaults take a lot from Quinn's time. And, even if they didn't, I am trying to space things out. I have many years to go through, I want some creative juice left for the future parts of the story. Mind-arts will return, elemental magic will make appearances, runes and wards are of interest. [Mind, Body, Soul] magic-line is still two-thirds unexplored. I have many ideas that need to be given adequate time, and I don't want Quinn to learn all of them in a single year. * Plus, I always try to bring learned magic back, give it screen time in the future. It takes me some thinking to maintain balance. I am consciously building my own magic learning speed and disregard the usual fanon quick, super-genius, learn-everything-in-a-year-timeline.
I've somethings planned. But they need some serious fine-tuning for them to be organic to the progression.
Lozz:Just a suggestion, but he should find himself in a desperate situation sometime soon and have to enter the sin vault. Because he grew and accepted what happened in the sin vault, he should be able to resist the effects somewhat (still be effected but limited enough to power through for that short while), find the secret of the vault and thats how he gets started (or maybe he has already started but needs the emotional aspect) on soul magic, like maybe this vault or the next one will need him to have defences on his soul. Or maybe he finds himeslf needing a power boost (not likely but still, he might need to destroy the goblet of fire or something. it is a horrible magical artefact used for binding people after all, undoubtedly made by extremely powerful magical beings) and using soul magic i imagine it would be possile to directly manipulate his own emotions in a balanced way like you mentioned him usually doing when he was recovering from the backlash after the world cup. it would make it easier to use magic with emotions in it like that because he would be directly manipuating his own soul instead of using occlumency for that part. anyway, that was just an idea of mine i simply had to write down. i dont really expect you to heed this or anything, just one of those niggling thoughts in my head that wont go away till i write it. :)
Liked the world building you've done. The cursed vaults is a good plot device fir keeping MC busy & not interfering with canon cast. However I would like to see some more social narratives cuz it seems that MC is too busy studying or training. As of now he just has 2 friends from his year (roomates) & Luna(assistant) who he interacts freq. Rest of characters like Slytherin duo aren't in his year so no Freq interaction. This paints a very bleak portrayal of isolation & doesn't match up to the charismatic AID/announcer figure. Suggest you add romance/hanging out scenes. He's just chasing after magic & missing out on childhood/teen life. As for romance, know that break-ups happen often so no forever & ever is req. So don't hesitate to add some spice to an otherwise bland social life of MC. P.S - I hope ritual magic will be explored here too đ¤
FictionOnlyReader:[World Background] - [Same thing as the last time.] For world-building, I have contributed with the cursed vaults. Another cause of divide between the readers. Some like it, and some don't. But, I am sticking with the vaults. They are my driving point of the story. * - Now, this is something that I always see spiking in the background of the comments. I know I wrote that Quinn would learn a lot of magic: I named many branches of magic in his first year. But that was before he found the vaults. Vaults take a lot from Quinn's time. And, even if they didn't, I am trying to space things out. I have many years to go through, I want some creative juice left for the future parts of the story. Mind-arts will return, elemental magic will make appearances, runes and wards are of interest. [Mind, Body, Soul] magic-line is still two-thirds unexplored. I have many ideas that need to be given adequate time, and I don't want Quinn to learn all of them in a single year. * Plus, I always try to bring learned magic back, give it screen time in the future. It takes me some thinking to maintain balance. I am consciously building my own magic learning speed and disregard the usual fanon quick, super-genius, learn-everything-in-a-year-timeline.
Bro.. You put so much effort into writing this Fan-Fic and i love it â¤ď¸. But i just wanted to ask.. Do you even get paid for your efforts. I really wanna know cause i have an idea for a Rick Riordan Fan-Fic but it's very extensive and will take a lot of time and effort to write it. But I won't have any motivation to work that hard if i can't even get any income from it. So i just wanna know how this works so i can make a decision to either go though with the idea or concentrate on a totally original one. Thanks đ
FictionOnlyReader:I've somethings planned. But they need some serious fine-tuning for them to be organic to the progression.
