Review Detail of Luomaze in Arranged marriage to the princess of the Red Scorpions
Review detail
Tried to be somewhat honest here. Love the story so far up to chapter 40. I do have some things that irk me but let's start off with it's a perfect setup. love the twist and laughed at brother making a move. overall is a new take on something I haven't seen done and I really can't wait to see how it works out. now the bad things. like this post the grammar is not the best and some words are missing here and there. but I don't care much about it because Im worse. the overall mc is kinda a big baby. he acts like he has no social skills with the female lead but he can act and talk fine to everyone else. he gets uncomfortable and acts a certain way that just doesn't come across as his normal character. now it can be overlooked but it's very noticeable and in many guy roles the character just doesn't fit. perhaps more of a build up and backstory or maybe a reason why he acts in a certain way with her. but when you have another female mentioned from school and he plays paintball with 8 friends... you know his social skills are not that lacking. for the female lead I think she's very pushy and wants to be a man and as you see she's doing it because the role she is in. there is reasons and it works and maybe some backstory? who knows just keep making those chapters. in all if you can spare to read this ugly post of mine then you can read this book. I give it 4 stars and I hope to see more.
Arranged marriage to the princess of the Red Scorpions
DameButterfly
Liked by 18 people
LIKEReplies6
There's absolutely no harem in this book. There's some teasing and suggestive behavior from a few of the side characters but neither this book or any of the others in the series will have harem.
RainbowBeheader:hope this wont go into harem
Your post isn't ugly at all. I always appreciate honesty, it helps me to grow as an author. This applies to anyone who reads and notices any spelling or grammar mistake in my story- please feel free to comment and point them out, I'll never be offended. Often times I get ahead of myself when I'm writing and don't always catch the mistakes. As for the characters- for Samuel, I was trying to make him come across less as socially awkward and more innocent and easily flustered as someone who's never been in a romantic relrelationship before. I briefly mentioned it but I may need to revisit early chapters and edit some things to be more clear. The idea being it was drawn out more with Lena because she's far more assertive and straight forward than anyone he's met before. With Lena, there will be more character development in the second novel in present and also some back story that explains her personality and why she comes across as standoffish and not thrilled about marrying anyone. I'm also glad some people enjoyed the awkward scene with her brotheršš there will be a few in the future as Samuel and Lena work things out. I do have a small idea for a book with him, but it may not be popular with everyone so I'll wait and see how this story shapes out. Thank you again for your support[img=recommend]
I do agree maybe going back and doing some touch ups to highlight those areas would overall bring a better understanding of his character in my opinion. I get ahead of myself as well so it's not bad for me but I know some people are just straight up crazy about grammar. love it so far and can't wait for more.
DameButterfly:Your post isn't ugly at all. I always appreciate honesty, it helps me to grow as an author. This applies to anyone who reads and notices any spelling or grammar mistake in my story- please feel free to comment and point them out, I'll never be offended. Often times I get ahead of myself when I'm writing and don't always catch the mistakes. As for the characters- for Samuel, I was trying to make him come across less as socially awkward and more innocent and easily flustered as someone who's never been in a romantic relrelationship before. I briefly mentioned it but I may need to revisit early chapters and edit some things to be more clear. The idea being it was drawn out more with Lena because she's far more assertive and straight forward than anyone he's met before. With Lena, there will be more character development in the second novel in present and also some back story that explains her personality and why she comes across as standoffish and not thrilled about marrying anyone. I'm also glad some people enjoyed the awkward scene with her brotheršš there will be a few in the future as Samuel and Lena work things out. I do have a small idea for a book with him, but it may not be popular with everyone so I'll wait and see how this story shapes out. Thank you again for your support[img=recommend]
DameButterfly:Your post isn't ugly at all. I always appreciate honesty, it helps me to grow as an author. This applies to anyone who reads and notices any spelling or grammar mistake in my story- please feel free to comment and point them out, I'll never be offended. Often times I get ahead of myself when I'm writing and don't always catch the mistakes. As for the characters- for Samuel, I was trying to make him come across less as socially awkward and more innocent and easily flustered as someone who's never been in a romantic relrelationship before. I briefly mentioned it but I may need to revisit early chapters and edit some things to be more clear. The idea being it was drawn out more with Lena because she's far more assertive and straight forward than anyone he's met before. With Lena, there will be more character development in the second novel in present and also some back story that explains her personality and why she comes across as standoffish and not thrilled about marrying anyone. I'm also glad some people enjoyed the awkward scene with her brotheršš there will be a few in the future as Samuel and Lena work things out. I do have a small idea for a book with him, but it may not be popular with everyone so I'll wait and see how this story shapes out. Thank you again for your support[img=recommend]
DameButterfly:There's absolutely no harem in this book. There's some teasing and suggestive behavior from a few of the side characters but neither this book or any of the others in the series will have harem.
