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Review Detail of BlueBlueLemon in Ember's Crown

Review detail

BlueBlueLemon
BlueBlueLemonLv43yrBlueBlueLemon

Throughout three chapters so far, I can say that I am intrigued. The plot is looking solid so far. The take of our protagonist taking a cruel challenge to begin his quest for a grand change works very well on how the author plans to build the world background. It is clear from the few chapters that the author has a knack for creating scenarios with details excellent details. From the gruelling battles and an environment where only despair can be mostly seen, it has been conveyed clearly through the way it was written. Although what made the most impression was the characters. The behaviour and characteristic of the first few characters that have been introduced are already cemented in such a short time. This might also be due to the detailed writing of the author. Yet the detailed writing may be too much in some parts of the story especially in dialogues between the characters. It is fine to explain how the characters act during a conversation, but sometimes it is better to have none. Another small thing I noticed is the use of 'tension'. In this story, it is supposed to be like a power conduit for the characters. But because 'tension' has not yet been properly explained except in the synopsis, sometimes there are parts where I got confused on how it was used in the paragraph because the literal meaning of 'tension' also works. It might be better to capitalize 'Tension' when it concerns the mysterious force. Besides that, there maybe be some grammatical and punctuation mistakes which can be improved later on. The usage of (' ') and (" ") might get confusing at first, but you'll get used to it sooner or later. OVERALL: A promising story with promising characters. P.S. I feel like Tragedy will be good in this even though I'm not really a fan of it.

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Ember's Crown

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Clone_v2
Clone_v2AuthorClone_v2

Thank you so much for your review. I've been grinning from ear to ear since I read it. Regarding the use of single inverted commas for speech, in the UK it's the traditional usage of said commas. I debated with myself as to whether I'd adopt the more common double inverted commas for speech or stand by my country's traditional usage. I decided, as a subject of the crown that it was my patriotic duty to stand by British writing conventions XD That's a really helpful spot regarding Tension. I'm going to quickly edit the three published chapters and the two unpublished chapters to reflect your suggestion. Once again, thank you. You can't imagine how much motivation you've just given me.