Review Detail of mrmrcia in My Magical System
Review detail
It was good to see that Yeman was able to adapt to the system right away, but I guess it felt like he accepted the matter too easily? Also, Yeman's character is not established, like he has no prominent traits except for his occasional raging. Also, his history with Marie was quite abruptly narrated. This history has a bearing in the story, so I was hoping that it could be described a tad more confusing. I guess the first three chapters will be confusing if the reader doesn't know that the MC was transmigrated. I appreciate the detailed action scenes which compensates for the short chapters. I love Mina, by the way. She's feisty and such a badass! The pacing of the story is just right, but I think that the MC's improvements as a player was too slow in the beginning. Then suddenly, his growth became exponential. It's kind of following the usual progression of a transmigration light novel. :( He doesn't use his resources wisely and keeps on being saved by his teammates. [I'm really sorry for saying these mean things. I just want you to improve as an author, along with me too! ] There are a myriad of grammatical mistakes. (Sorry if I'm going technical) However, note that grammatical mistakes are easy to correct. We all make this mistake, so don't worry about it. Incorrect verb tenses, misuse/absence of punctuation marks are the majority of these. I'll be cheering you on! You clearly have a good world background. I hope that these criticisms will motivate you to do better. Remember that nobody is perfect, as all things should be. We should always find a way to improve! Please continue writing this art of yours!
My Magical System
Fhrutz_D_Hollow
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I agree with the other things you mentioned since this is my first novel. I already told it at my sypnosis. But the thing about always save by his teammates seemed wrong. They were his pets. And he was using them efficiently. So you can also say he executed his resource well. And the thing about exponential growth is a mistakes as well. After all, until now, he was still below the other stronger opponents. In any case, about the resource, i don’t know what kind of resources you mean by it. Thanks for the review by the way.
Yes, thank you for clearing that up to me. I do believe thay Yeman is quite a good leader in a sense. You're very much welcome.
Fhrutz_D_Hollow:I agree with the other things you mentioned since this is my first novel. I already told it at my sypnosis. But the thing about always save by his teammates seemed wrong. They were his pets. And he was using them efficiently. So you can also say he executed his resource well. And the thing about exponential growth is a mistakes as well. After all, until now, he was still below the other stronger opponents. In any case, about the resource, i don’t know what kind of resources you mean by it. Thanks for the review by the way.