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Review Detail of Daoist_Paradox in The Goblin Nation

Review detail

Daoist_Paradox
Daoist_ParadoxLv43yrDaoist_Paradox

The novel is good, yet it can be made even better. Good Points: (01) Writing is professional without grammatical mistakes. (02) Character development is good, and they are interconnected with each other emotionally through various ways. Many characters have a back story, which helps to understand them better. (03) Plot seems quite logical. Bad Points: (Please take this constructively) (01) First and foremost, the Protagonist has no 'protagonist material', and if it weren't for you, the Author, pushing him up the ladder, I'm quite sure he would just be a random goblin. You need to understand that a webnovel is based on OUR wish fulfillment, not YOURS! The audience needs the Protagonist to pursue wealth, women and power, which yours doesn't seem to be doing. (02) Why did you make the Protagonist a transmigrator? There are two major reasons why writers choose transmigrators as their Protagonists- (i) So that the Protagonist has a different (modern) worldview than the native counterparts. (ii) So that the Protagonist can have access to a cheat known as 'modern knowledge'. Your Protagonist fails to achieve both. Being nice is not a modern worldview, and he does not show the shrewdness either which is found in modern society, which now makes use of diplomacy, or the so-called 'soft tactics' or schemes. It felt very shameful that instead of the Protagonist, it was a common native goblin who invented the bomb. What I want to say, is that your Protagonist fails to stand out! How can he build his nation by being naive? Instead, he would expect him to be more shrewd and a master of strategies, without sacrificing his good and approachable nature. (03) It feels like you unnecessarily describe your novel to be more realistic! As I said before, this is a webnovel, and therefore, your Protagonist should be more glorious, even though a bit unrealistic. His adventures should be glorious to read, his romantic encounters exciting, and his battles thrilling... (04) I just said his battles should be thrilling.... What does that mean? It means that the Protagonist should have a cool yet ORIGINAL(SELF CREATED) fighting/battle/cultivation/magic technique. (Of course it should have a cool name!) Your protagonist seems very inactive with no signs of curiosity. He knows that he has turned from a human into a goblin, so why isn't he interested in knowing about the present world's supernatural powers? Writers choose transmigrators as their Protagonists exactly for this reason! Modern people have exposure to a large number of fantasy sources. If you argue here that he doesn't properly have his past life's memories, then it would be even more disappointing, because he cannot use his knowledge cheat when he needs it the most. (05) Romance, Harem & Sex: If you are writing a goblin novel, these three things must definitely be included, or else the whole novel would feel obsolete. What, don't like harem? Dude, that's a goblin! Plus, which ruler has only one partner? (You can try a novel written by Goblin-Kun on Webnovel to understand what I'm trying to tell!) (06) Governance & Socialization: We still don't exactly know how the tribe functions. What departments are under the tribe Chief? Also, the Protagonist Sun didn't seem good at making decisions. When he became Chief, he set up an order for food distribution, and the male goblins were furious because he didn't force the widow goblins to be with the male goblins (or something like that.). In such a situation, Sun remained passive as if the issue didn't exist. He could have encouraged the male goblins to court the widows by showing their worth, or by setting up a festival, etc. Remember that such novels depend on three major things: CREATION: Making all kinds of stuff like infrastructure, weaponry, medicine, etc. MANAGEMENT: Finance, Military Tactics and Strategy, Farming, etc. WARFARE: (i) How the army is created and what weapons, mounts, formations, techniques they use, etc. (collective strength) (ii) How do they differentiate against strength levels ? (like cultivation levels, or game levels, etc.) Fighting techniques, etc. That's all. Hope that you survive this criticism and continue to write this amazing work!!!

altalt

The Goblin Nation

KJ_The_Cat

Liked by 18 people

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Replies5

Pretend
PretendLv3Pretend

I disagree with almost every single one of your criticisms and the only point I agree on is his naivety. Guess what, not everyone likes girls, also guess what some people don't like harems, oh and get this some people don't like an op, power hungry, thirsty for women simp protagonist that is perfect. Please don't act like all of the things you mentioned are facts, as several of them are flawed, can be proven wrong, or are only true for a select audience. Your points really make no sense my guy.

Daoist_Paradox
Daoist_ParadoxLv4Daoist_Paradox

Bro, I was talking about the overall trend here. If not why would those genres would even exist? Although I agree that this novel might not be one of those protagonist-power-climbing novels.

Pretend:I disagree with almost every single one of your criticisms and the only point I agree on is his naivety. Guess what, not everyone likes girls, also guess what some people don't like harems, oh and get this some people don't like an op, power hungry, thirsty for women simp protagonist that is perfect. Please don't act like all of the things you mentioned are facts, as several of them are flawed, can be proven wrong, or are only true for a select audience. Your points really make no sense my guy.
Pretend
PretendLv3Pretend

Fair enough, what I meant was that this is not the type of novel you are critiquing it as.

Daoist_Paradox:Bro, I was talking about the overall trend here. If not why would those genres would even exist? Although I agree that this novel might not be one of those protagonist-power-climbing novels.
S4nti
S4ntiLv5S4nti

I don't agree with everything, "harem", it doesn't need to be harem if it's goblin, yes, if you think of goblin you imagine *** and harem, but it's a magical fantasy, it can be different; what i totally agree with, is that the main character lacks hero material, his transmigration is redundant, he has no use for anything, maybe the love for his mother that came with him, but then nothing, he feels empty, very little is taken away from a whole range of possibilities of being a transmigrator, he is not curious, everyone, i mean everyone, including those who commented above would be curious about magic if they are in a fantasy world reincarnated in a goblin body and know that magic is real. he has nothing on top of it, tricks he doesn't have, curiosity to experience things in the world and try to use modern thinking to his advantage, neither, powers, abilities, or anything that makes him special, NO, i agree he could be a random goblin if it wasn't for the fact that he loves his mom (but his brothers still love his mom) he lacks everything, and i'm only on one point. there are other points i also support from this comment but i think, i have written the most important one for me, on the positive side, i feel it has some solid secondary characters, very good world building, but i came thinking about kingdom building, and it doesn't have it, politics, military, technology, strategies, production, logistics, it has none of this like i would want a kingdom building novel to have, so it's not for me the novel.

CriticalReader
CriticalReaderLv2CriticalReader

If anything the author seems like they don't know their target audience which leads to a dull and flat novel, remember anyone can write a novel but making it worth reading is the real challenge. The novel has no appeal so their should be no surprise when only few read