Review Detail of HadesChampion in Naruto: Dream to Immortality (COMPLETED)
Review detail
I mean story basis is solid but doesn't help the fanfiction as it is super boring , mc is trash who wants to be immortal for no real reason, has no real relationships to family friends or girls , trash mc waste of time.
Naruto: Dream to Immortality (COMPLETED)
HolyJoker
Liked by 29 people
LIKEReplies15
You didn't read the his life story summed up in the auxiliary chapter did you... the MC is already a developed character since he already lived a life before this. I was going to do it with flashbacks but the readers don't like them so that is that. I also had a lot of key moments on his live to develop his unnatural fear of death... a lot of thought went into them but people don't want them..😭😭😭😭... also read the description on the story bro it literally says evil MC..🤣🤣🤣🤣
He isn't exactly emotionless. He just suppressing them sience him letting his emotions control him, he knows thar he will die if he does let his emotions control him. For example him teasing Tsume. He truly does enjoy that. Because that is safe. They can't be used against him.... Well I guess it just wasn't to your tastes.🤣🤣🤣🤣
HadesChampion:I know he he is evil but their is nothing really interesting or entertaining for me, it's just bland. He literally has no emotions , might as well be a robot
What was so hard in his previous life that made him so sick? I really couldn’t find anything. His father died and he was poor? Really? That’s te reality for a lot of people (me included). His grandparents died? ... well that’s called life. He was hit by a car? Happens. Where is the justification for his sick and twisted mentality? He is just twisted sociopath.
HolyJoker:He isn't exactly emotionless. He just suppressing them sience him letting his emotions control him, he knows thar he will die if he does let his emotions control him. For example him teasing Tsume. He truly does enjoy that. Because that is safe. They can't be used against him.... Well I guess it just wasn't to your tastes.🤣🤣🤣🤣
His is twisted with how they died and he saw the true fragile state of the humanity. They can die out of nowhere... HE IS NOT OKAY WITH THAT.... due to the suddenness of the deaths of the ones close to him he has developed a control freak tendency (can be seen later in the story, even the MC admits that he is a control freak.) He just doesn't have the emotional connections with his family and teammates. After all they were going to die anyway so the MC used one of them for his gain and to give him an edge over his enemies, to catch them by surprise.
EnderPL:What was so hard in his previous life that made him so sick? I really couldn’t find anything. His father died and he was poor? Really? That’s te reality for a lot of people (me included). His grandparents died? ... well that’s called life. He was hit by a car? Happens. Where is the justification for his sick and twisted mentality? He is just twisted sociopath.
Ok bro, your story so all is good as long as you’re happy with it. I dropped because for me the justification is too weak for the Mc behavior. Good luck with story. I just found different one for myself.
HolyJoker:His is twisted with how they died and he saw the true fragile state of the humanity. They can die out of nowhere... HE IS NOT OKAY WITH THAT.... due to the suddenness of the deaths of the ones close to him he has developed a control freak tendency (can be seen later in the story, even the MC admits that he is a control freak.) He just doesn't have the emotional connections with his family and teammates. After all they were going to die anyway so the MC used one of them for his gain and to give him an edge over his enemies, to catch them by surprise.
HolyJoker:You didn't read the his life story summed up in the auxiliary chapter did you... the MC is already a developed character since he already lived a life before this. I was going to do it with flashbacks but the readers don't like them so that is that. I also had a lot of key moments on his live to develop his unnatural fear of death... a lot of thought went into them but people don't want them..😭😭😭😭... also read the description on the story bro it literally says evil MC..🤣🤣🤣🤣
HolyJoker:His is twisted with how they died and he saw the true fragile state of the humanity. They can die out of nowhere... HE IS NOT OKAY WITH THAT.... due to the suddenness of the deaths of the ones close to him he has developed a control freak tendency (can be seen later in the story, even the MC admits that he is a control freak.) He just doesn't have the emotional connections with his family and teammates. After all they were going to die anyway so the MC used one of them for his gain and to give him an edge over his enemies, to catch them by surprise.
He's a developed *person*, not a developed *character*. Growing up off-screen doesn't make a character developed as a character. I've not read the story yet and am checking out reviews. But, I think it's important for any writers and aspiring writers to keep this distinction in mind. Also, since he was reborn in a new world there is a great opportunity to create character development building upon your summation of his life. After all, it is an extremely different environment and it is impossible to not be affected by your environment.
HolyJoker:You didn't read the his life story summed up in the auxiliary chapter did you... the MC is already a developed character since he already lived a life before this. I was going to do it with flashbacks but the readers don't like them so that is that. I also had a lot of key moments on his live to develop his unnatural fear of death... a lot of thought went into them but people don't want them..😭😭😭😭... also read the description on the story bro it literally says evil MC..🤣🤣🤣🤣
Does he have a reason to fear death? Most people don't want to die and try to avoid it, but aren't exactly afraid of death itself so much as dying to something they have control over. Perhaps for a future story you could use that as a development and justification? After all, the Naruto universe and many others have ways to increase the control someone has over whether or not they die. People more or less accept death as inevitable and accept death in the form of things they cannot control such as sickness and accidents. But if you have the potential to acquire the power to make yourself immune to sickness and heighten your physical abilities so that accidents are basically unable to harm you...
HolyJoker:His is twisted with how they died and he saw the true fragile state of the humanity. They can die out of nowhere... HE IS NOT OKAY WITH THAT.... due to the suddenness of the deaths of the ones close to him he has developed a control freak tendency (can be seen later in the story, even the MC admits that he is a control freak.) He just doesn't have the emotional connections with his family and teammates. After all they were going to die anyway so the MC used one of them for his gain and to give him an edge over his enemies, to catch them by surprise.