Review Detail of Fortigan in Spending My Retirement In A Game

Some advice for the Author. Please note that this is meant as constructive criticism, not complaining, as I love the story. You really need to get an English Thesaurus to broaden your vocabulary and help find more appropriate descriptive words. I know others have spoken to you about "lowly" being used improperly already (should word swap every instance of "lowly" with "softly"), but some other words are really out of place as well. For example; "nodding furiously in agreement". Furiously is a word normally used to describe a degree of anger. It "can" be used to describe intensity, but "nodding furiously" will throw off your readers because it implies anger (check the definition of the root word "fury" to better understand why). There are several other words that would better describe the visual you were intending, such as "vigorously", "energetically", "excitedly", or "swiftly". Another issue I've found is when you add "ity" to the end of a word instead of "ness". For example; "genuinity" is not a word, but "genuineness" is. Likewise "nervosity" is not a word, but "nervousness" is. Lastly, you occasionally use the word "light" incorrectly, and should use "slight" instead. For example; "light grin" should be "slight grin". Light in this situation is used to describe a form of measurement, but not degree of something. Such as volume or weight, but not a degree of intensity. In this case a "slight grin" would mean a partial grin or a grin to a lesser degree. To be honest, English is a very dumb language that breaks it's own rules a lot when it comes to proper grammar. You can't rely on word definitions alone to fully grasp English grammar either, so I would highly recommend seeking out a native English speaking editor to assist you in this area. All that being said, I absolutely love your story. You have a lot of creative talent and I greatly appreciate the work you have put into this novel. I'm a freelance editor and if I had the spare time right now I would offer my services to you. Perhaps at a later date I might be able to assist if you are interested and still lack an editor.