Review Detail of Fiaran in Spending My Retirement In A Game

Best review I’ve ever Fuh-Ucking read. I enjoyed this more than the actual novel itself. Wow....

Well, thanks for your review! I mean, i'm not a native speaker, so i don't have a huge vocabulary, which is why I re-use words like 'lowly' (which literally just means 'small' or 'low', and not just 'of humble birth', which is why i use it to describe when people talk quietly, as it can also be used to describe volume. Don't quote someone if you don't know what you're talking about.). And I don't think what you're saying about smiles is necessarily true… You're saying that people don't smile at all when they don't have touching moments (at least that's what I understood), and that's just not true. If people have fun or if they're just generally happy, they do have a light, constant smile on their face. It's nothing major, they aren't showing their pearly whites all the time, but they're still smiling. So i don't see what's wrong with saying that. And I do actually put the hand gestures and stuff like that into what I write… just not often. And I don't think I should describe what a character is doing with their hands after each sentence. So I think the biggest issue here isn't that I don't know gestures or how people act, but rather my vocabulary, and that I use the same words too much.

"Not a native speaker / Don't quote someone if you don't know what you are talking about. " I *am* a native speaker and a voracious reader, and quoting someone doesn't require knowledge, but correcting them does. Low *is* used to describe sound volume. Lowly is not. Period. "Soft smile/laughter" conveys intimacy. Even "gentle smile" has emotional overtones you might want to avoid. That still leaves lots of options: small, half, polite, warm, welcoming, wide, even toothy, to name a few. Language is more than just words with correct meaning stuck together. Inept is a commonly used word in English, but ept, the opposite, is not, except to prove a point. You could have a character say, "I have become quite ept with my new carving tool." It is technically correct, but readers will be jarred. You are the author, so if you want to keep on jarring your readers, that's your prerogative. I took some of my time to to write my first ever novel review on Web Novel to offer you suggestions to (selfishly) improve my reading experience because your work has quite a lot going for it. It's your choice to listen and possibly learn, or be defensive and argue with me. I will still keep reading you story as long as the characters engage me.

As an adjective, 'lowly' means 'low in status or importance; humble.' (literal definition), but as an ADVERB, 'lowly' means 'to a low degree; in a low manner.' (literal definition). So no, you can use 'lowly' to describe sound volume. Period. The reason why I became pretty defensive was simply because your review seemed pretty rude and aggressive to me, rather than a simple suggestion. And even then, I still took it into account, I never said I wouldn't. I'm trying to build up my vocabulary, but it's kind of hard to do that if you don't have many chances to actually speak the language, so it's going to take a while. And if I use thesaurus for every word I write, it's going to take me a week to finish a chapter… so yeah, I took what you said into account, but it's going to take a while. And please don't just rudely assume that I'm a complete idiot, which is what it sounds like to me you're saying if you keep giving me those 'options'. And with the 'ept'... I don't seem to remember that I ever really used that word, sorry, so that point is kind of random. If i did use it before, then sorry about that, but I was probably trying to use words that you don't hear often simply to make Eisen sound older, i guess

You didn't use the word ept, it was an example of a word that is technically according to its definition, but doesn't sound right to the ear. As a non-native English speaker, naturally this isn't easy for you to hear. So when a native speaker tells you it doesn't work, you should listen, unless you are writing dialogue for someone who is also not a native speaker and therefore want their dialogue to sound awkward. If you are having trouble coming up with other words, why wouldn't you use a thesaurus? It's a writer's best friend as long as you don't go nuts with it, and check that your work sounds right. If there's something you need to keep writing about (cough, cough less laughing, cough, cough) and want to switch things up, and can't think of alternatives, go to your thesaurus, chose 3 to 4 appropriate adj, adv, nouns, whatever and switch between them. And as for "lowly" as an adverb, the words degree and manner still have nothing to do with sound volume. Taking that into account, what the words " laughed lowly" imply is that he is laughing in a base born or low or ill-mannered way and I don't think that is what you are trying to convey. At least, I didn't think you were. And as for wanting him to sound older, it would have to be used in his dialogue to convey that. Believe it or not, I actually toned down my review, but you should take the fact that I wrote it as a compliment. If you hadn't crafted believable characters, I wouldn't be so bothered when they behave in ways that don't fit or jar me out of the flow. Passion from your readers is a good thing, indifference is what you don't want, because it means you failed to engage your reader. So you should grow a thicker skin, take reviews with a grain of salt, but learn what's helpful and keep improving by writing more.

Listen, just because I'm not a native speaker doesn't mean that I'm an idiot. Of course I can hear that 'ept' isn't a word you use often. My point was just that I don't have a huge vocabulary like a native speaker does, that's all. Don't assume that I don't know the language at all. And I'm not having trouble with it, who said that? YOU are troubled by it, I simply always wrote in the way that I could in the smoothest and most natural manner. Now that you told me that I should use a higher variety of words, I will try and do that. Still nope. You can use 'lowly' to describe volume, just how it is. What else would you use 'lowly' for then? Oh, I take most of my reviews as a compliment, but not those that are blatantly conceited and insulting in my opinion.

"I'm not interested in such lowly rated stocks." "He was held back by his lowly status." "Bowing lowly, the errant knight humbled himself before his lord. "

You won... yay! 🤗 (was rooting for you but didn’t want to interfere)

Ya honestly from a non-reader perspective, the reviewer was right, from your arguments I could tell that the author is actually fairly good at English. (Unless the author actually spent more effort on the argument than on his novel). And the reviewer was actually pretty respectful (?) considering that this was a more neutrally rated review. All the reviewer wanted was to give the author some suggestions but the author reacted pretty negatively and that just made me not want to read this novel. Author, I know that this novel might be your reverse scale or something but you don’t have to randomly start a scolding battle with someone who just wants to give a friendly suggestion. And if you can’t see that, then you can continue to argue with people and continue to lose potential readers like me who pay attention to the author’s personality. I know that you can’t please everyone and stuff but... really? Your replies to negative reviews are a little over the top. I know by doing this I might miss a good novel up so what? There is something called an internet and I’ll rather support an author who does good works and has a good personality than an author who has good works but doesn’t even let his readers have a honest review. You can take offence to what I’m saying and be insulted or anything but you need to learn to take everything with a bigger heart than what I can see currently.

thanks for your opinion on this! I usually try to be positive about reviews, even negative ones, but if I feel personally insulted I may get a bit aggressive, especially if I disagree with what people are saying... Yeah, I probably overreacted with this one, because it was mainly about my usage of the word 'lowly', (which I'm still hella confused about, but I don't think I used it in any of my latest chapters), but in other reviews I've been more aggressive because I just think that the reviewers are very insulting toward me and my novel. For all I care, they can do and say what they want, but in return, I should be able to do that as well, right? If they blatantly insult my novel, why shouldn't i have the right to defend it?

Hi Author, I'm about to start reading your novel as I'm quite interested in its premise. I happened to read this review, as well as the chain of replies, and was intrigued by the "lowly" debate; as such I decided to look into it... According to the Cambridge English dictionary, Cambridge being one of England's top universities, "lowly" is never an adverb, and the adverb for "low" is "low". An example being "They spoke in low voices". While this has not discouraged me from giving your novel a shot, I would consider taking this user's opinion into consideration, and potentially using alternatives such as "softly"or "quietly". I am a native English speaker living in England but I've never heard anyone using the word "lowly" in the manner you're using it in.

Mmm

Author I think the problem is your English isn't sophisticated enough. You're English is good. Your personality may be good too. It's just that you probably didn't quite get what the first reviewer said. I as someone who studies everything in English and uses English everyday, I can pretty much tell you that the reviewer wasn't being personally offensive at all. The use of the word lowly, let's just say in "laughed lowly" is actually wrong, unless you want to say he laughed in an ill-mannered or in a playful(kinda) way depending on the situation. Now I haven't read your novel but just commenting on what I read. As for the expressions, most of what the reviewer said was right. Although it kinda detracts the reader but it can still be readable but it's advisable to make better choice of words, that's all you need really. And as an author, NEVER take any review personally, trust me it will not be good. What authors should be is excited, from criticism and even brutal ones are good too. It makes you a better author. Only exception is ones that criticize your novel as a story or your imagination, those are bad and should be deleted.

Two main points: - A non-native speaker can easily and unintendedly use English words incorrectly. There are simply too many specialized words in the English language as well as many irregularities. For example, the word 'cozen' is to 'trick or deceive'; however, to use this word correctly, it must be used under the context that the trickster is pretending to be your cousin. Furthermore, while words such as 'gentle' have intimate connotations, these connotations are not listed in the dictionary. You can't expect a non-native speaker to understand immediately. Hence cut the author some slack. - Next, while you may not have meant to be aggressive in your advice. Your review used many strong words/phrases that can easily be seen as berating. To name a few, "suspend disbelief", "killing me", and "preposterous" are all examples from the first paragraph alone. However, considering that your review score was around 3.5 stars, the author should have realized that your review was likely written with stronger tones of disappointment than aggression.

I didn’t read the novel yet, I was checking the non-5-stars reviews, and I found yours. I’m an ******* writer and english isn’t my native language. I sometimes find myself looking for the right word to express something, and when I remember to, I use Reverso and Thesaurus. Even then, you reminded me of body language, something I completely forgot aside from facial expressions. Thanks.

You're welcome! I do understand the pitfalls of using a thesaurus when it comes to a foreign language. I speak French fluently, and able to converse in Spanish and German. So when you look up a translation of a word you don't know in another language, and the definition gives you a couple of different options, I know that it's often not clear which one is truly appropriate. So no one should be surprised if a word is used that doesn't quite fit a context. Also, using the same word or adjectives over and over again in the same circumstance gets monotonous and is not good writing, so when I point it out to an author in this kind of environment, I'm hoping that they will take it as he helpful pointer that I'm trying to offer. (Besides, why always with a "lowly/quiet/deep chuckle"? Where is this guy's guffaws, laughs, chortles and giggles? Does he really only know one way to express amusement?)

Man, the art of communication is really fascinating. Different people will get different interpretations on a written piece. I see advicing, dissapoinment and a little exasperation on this review. But some might see admonishment, belittling and insult. Empathic listening and reading is really not easy, so let us please have the patience to encode and decode what the message was actually trying to convey before we judge and respond. It surely makes life easier with the effort we put through with the added bonus of avoiding conflict born from misunderstanding 90% of the time.

That’s your response to criticism? Jesus..... I pity your world outlook.....

if you were really a native English speaker, you'd be able to tell what someone means even if it isn't technically correct, being overly strict with a language that is pretty much three other languages in a trenchcoat trying to pass itself off as one is just pointless

The part about body language, I agree with. There’s offen room for more of that during character dialogue. Your point about the author relying rather heavily on a small set of descriptors is also valid. Everything you said about the usage of said descriptors? Blatantly incorrect. A low voice is a voice low in volume, and lowly is its participle form. A soft smile can also be a polite smile, which validates it being used around strangers. Sighs can be tired, frustrated, relaxed, contented, and even amused. I’ve seen many an amused sigh transition into a chuckle. Even groans can become chuckles (bad puns anyone?). If you haven’t seen any of these things, maybe you need to do some people-watching yourself. As a tip, I notice that older people are especially likely to use sighs and smiles exactly the way you said wasn’t a thing. Saw it a lot while living with my grandparents for a year.