hey, this is great. I usually scoff at female leads as it's just not my thing. But a BBT story is unique and needs to be considered. I find the authors interpretation of the characters interesting. yes, they were weird. However, i think that was the point, but they were supposed to be lovable too. so maybe less creepy and more clueless and / or naive. the boys learn their puck up lines from comics and such, which if she is a comic nerd, she should know.

rugby ≠ American football

Hog's head inn not pigs head

go to fanfiction thebeardedone. this isn't his book he is only posting here.

that doesn't make sense

there isnt any customs inside usa if you are buying from inside usa....

I could not put my phone down. love it and keep up I want to go through all the seasons :)

keep it up please post more 😊 thank you I like that he is trying to set himself up as a gymnast maybe for spiderman? maybe he can set off the marvel universe instead of iron man????

it seems like you took it from your original language then MTL it to english then re MTL to nonesense and the MTL it back to english. I am sorry you need to rewrite it i couldnt go on anymore. It seems like you are rushing the lvling because you gave yourself to little time to do it. check for spelling mistakes and check if the sentence makes sense. Cause some of the sentnces gave me cancer.

oaa?

good story. i enjoyed it alot however i got lost. like there was some time skips and important personal information and relationships were just skipped. maybe make some fillers to add those in later but in general good. just dont forget to explain how he got there and not just assume it happened and everyone will understand.[img=recommend]

harem

amazing 👏 👏 great story and character. keep it up and make him stronger or at least that he can train in sunny. get a beta or a spell checker. cause I see that yo are missing the tenses in your story or words that sound similar. maybe put it through deepl its a good translation site

So far so good. Kinda wished that he went to school or that you added more of his teenage life or messed more with the Xmen and kept running the joke with Logan. So much that they accept him or tolerate him. (Cool way to have him make money. maybe have more info about it. like that he makes special weapons out of the crystals he gets from the dungeons. etc) But keep the updates coming and dont OP him to early make him struggle a bit with some aspects of life.

why?

good. keep it up. only a few spelling mistakes such as her and she and he but keep it up. can not wait for more. keep the chapters coming. :)

I read it but there were so many spelling mistakes and also just wrong text like if it was machine translated but not double checked. story idea is good in my opinion. needs to be checked and more fleshed out. also don't like that they are making so many non story chapters chapters. if you have some author notes put it there.

that was awesome. please keep it up its rare to find ron stoppable as Si. aside from a few typos which is ok story is great and good keeping it more real rather than comicky. also more rufus