Telegram? here is my id @SSSLYI

1) No background information about the characters. 2) Nothing was explained. 3) Just.... -_- 4) "... synonyms" for better readability. 5) Sometimes the paragraphs are far too short. 6) Don't reveal everything from the beginning. 7) Slow down... Are you in a rush? No one will kill you if you slow down a bit, provide more details, and give the characters a background. .... I hope it will help you ^^

again... young young young

what is the ranking system? the reader doesn't know

"practice field", "practice field", "field",... 1) You are using it too much... the paragraphs are short too. You must take that into consideration as well. 2) Search "field synonyms". I do it too so that I can improve readability.

put the ranking system in the auxiliary volume

As if I could remember all this... -_- Just give the information little by little so that the reader thinks, "Oh, okay," and ;) it won't be forgotten easily.

hohoho, this chapter is well written, but just one thing ;) You could've taken it slowly instead of rushing it. (10-18) What happened there?? I want to know! give the mc a background. The training and the assassination parts would've been really intriguing. Tip: slowly --> + details --> etc. -->YESSSSSS fast --> - details --> etc. --> NOOOOO etc --> "better readability" "immersion" "feelings" and so on

Honestly... if I were to rate it on a scale of 0-10... it wouldn't even get a 6 but considering it's your first time.... idk

You mentioned that this is your first time writing, but I'll share my thoughts on this chapter without holding back, haha. First of all, this chapter is quite messy. You might wonder why, so let me explain: 1) Inconsistent Point of View (You shift from third-person to first-person when you shouldn't. This confuses the reader.) 2) It's unclear who is talking; I had to re-read sections to fully grasp it. 3) Logical Inconsistencies 4) There aren't enough details to immerse 5) Pacing Issues: The pacing is too fast..... you need to take it more slowly. 6) The dialogues feel unnatural? forced? that's the idea it gives me 7) There are grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures. (it's normal you'll improve with time) 8) Some scenes are hard to visualize 9) You should leave the reader with "wow... what will happen?" "aghhhh I want the next chapterrrr" I hope this doesn't destroy you. 😂 It will help you grow.

Overall, it's good, but I would break it into paragraphs for better readability. There are enough details for the reader to imagine the scene. However, it lacks a little bit of that intriguing element that makes you want to keep reading and not stop, the feeling of wanting more.

I can try to do so, but I have no idea how since I've never written a novel or anything like that before, so you'll have to wait two or three days until I come up with something good. And yes, this is my first novel. Please give me as many tips as you can. :)

Haha, not yet. I'm still in high school, but I plan to become a software engineer.

Hahahahaha, I'm glad you liked the first chapter. Well, I don't have a vivid imagination, and it's hard to imagine what's written. But that helped me distinguish a good book from a bad one. What guides me is that if I can see what I'm writing, it's good; otherwise, I'll re-write everything. I guess that's a blessing in disguise.