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UnluckyLoveRomance

UnluckyLoveRomance

Lv2
2023-12-26 JoinedPhilippines
-d

Writing

1.3h

of reading

15

Read books

Badges

4

Moments

18
  • UnluckyLoveRomance
    UnluckyLoveRomance3mth
    Posted

    I am happy and surprised that you mentioned the Philippines in your first chapter 'coz I am from that county. I hope you put more emphasis on that county and explore more. I just have comment on the chapters' length, I can say that those are shorts and I highly suggest to make it at least 1,500 words per chapter so that you can get the right benefits once you sign an exclusive contract and premium contract.Lastly, the story concept is great. It is good to read and interesting to readers.

    This book has been deleted.
  • UnluckyLoveRomance
    UnluckyLoveRomance3mth
    Posted

    The storytelling is great. The drama is on and it gives interest to readers to continue reading to know what will happen next.

    This book has been deleted.
  • UnluckyLoveRomance
    UnluckyLoveRomance3mth
    Posted

    I read the first ten chapters and their scenes are okay, however the writing style especially on technicalities needs improvement.

    This book has been deleted.
  • UnluckyLoveRomance
    UnluckyLoveRomance4mth
    Replied to Kari_Chan

    The length of each chapter is fine, no worries.

    altalt
    The Opening Shot
    Fantasy · Kari_Chan
    detail
  • UnluckyLoveRomance
    UnluckyLoveRomance4mth
    Replied to Kari_Chan

    The narrations are too lengthy. It's hard to read like I am like a walking ant. I also observed you put short dialogues. Dialogues make the story more lively and it makes the characters more alive.

    altalt
    The Opening Shot
    Fantasy · Kari_Chan
    detail
  • UnluckyLoveRomance
    UnluckyLoveRomance4mth
    Posted

    I love how you deliver the story. The main character is okay, acted so natural and showcased the feelings.The only problem is you never mentioned what is the name of the character having a 1st Person POV. It disconnects a connection with the readers.

    altalt
    The Devil's Ember
    Urban · Dabized
    detail
  • UnluckyLoveRomance
    UnluckyLoveRomance4mth
    Posted

    I love your narration style, a little bit long but not boring. The way the characters act are so natural, I can feel the drama and their connection.

    altalt
    The Opening Shot
    Fantasy · Kari_Chan
    detail
  • UnluckyLoveRomance
    UnluckyLoveRomance4mth
    Posted

    I like the character of Darica. The scenes in the school are so reminiscent. The story development is smooth in transition. The connection between the characters is what I love the most. I can say that this novel is recommended.

    altalt
    BEWITCHED BY THE SCHOOL CHARMER
    Urban · GEEGEE
    detail
  • UnluckyLoveRomance
    UnluckyLoveRomance4mth
    Commented

    Liked this kind of scene

    Darica listened speechlessly as Yuka practically scolded and chided her as if she was a child.
    altalt
    BEWITCHED BY THE SCHOOL CHARMER
    Urban · GEEGEE
    detail
  • UnluckyLoveRomance
    UnluckyLoveRomance4mth
    Commented

    Not so fast, my dear 😺

    [DUKE: You know that my feelings for you are genuine, alright? I will never mess with a girl like you. You rock my world. Can't you give me a child?]
    altalt
    BEWITCHED BY THE SCHOOL CHARMER
    Urban · GEEGEE
    detail
  • UnluckyLoveRomance
    UnluckyLoveRomance4mth
    Commented

    What a good perk! 😊♠️

    As the last people to enter the bus, Darica, and the gang didn't need to worry about not finding space, for there was always vacant space left for them by default.
    altalt
    BEWITCHED BY THE SCHOOL CHARMER
    Urban · GEEGEE
    detail
  • UnluckyLoveRomance
    UnluckyLoveRomance4mth
    Commented

    😶

    And now, she was a happy influencer who was very happy to show some skin as long as people were willing to pay for it.
    altalt
    BEWITCHED BY THE SCHOOL CHARMER
    Urban · GEEGEE
    detail
  • UnluckyLoveRomance
    UnluckyLoveRomance4mth
    Commented

    Clubs are sometimes slightly off. I wish my school had more responsible officers and interesting events.

    "If your club idea is reasonable and feasible, you might have a chance of getting that club opened. I also recommend you to only bring forward good ideas and all nonsensical ideas. I would hate to see them. Don't play with the council's minds or else I will have you blacklisted and you guys wouldn't want that."
    altalt
    BEWITCHED BY THE SCHOOL CHARMER
    Urban · GEEGEE
    detail
  • UnluckyLoveRomance
    UnluckyLoveRomance4mth
    Commented

    I can relate with this 😅

    Everyone was dying to go home and have a breather, so the sooner she was done, the better it was for everyone as well.
    altalt
    BEWITCHED BY THE SCHOOL CHARMER
    Urban · GEEGEE
    detail
  • UnluckyLoveRomance
    UnluckyLoveRomance4mth
    Commented

    I can remember these vibes, how I missed my high school days.

    And when it wasn't supporting, it was there to just give the students updates on the current affairs.
    altalt
    BEWITCHED BY THE SCHOOL CHARMER
    Urban · GEEGEE
    detail
  • UnluckyLoveRomance
    UnluckyLoveRomance4mth
    Commented

    Love this one.

    This was the good thing regarding Peach's page. It was a gossip channel that mainly focused on Grandview University's students. However, instead of dragging anyone down, it was mostly there to just support.
    altalt
    BEWITCHED BY THE SCHOOL CHARMER
    Urban · GEEGEE
    detail
  • UnluckyLoveRomance
    UnluckyLoveRomance4mth
    Commented

    The anger is smoking habaneros! 🥵

    "I know you are in there, you little dimwit! How dare you frame him repeatedly?" that woman's voice sounded throughout in anger.
    altalt
    BEWITCHED BY THE SCHOOL CHARMER
    Urban · GEEGEE
    detail
  • UnluckyLoveRomance
    UnluckyLoveRomance4mth
    Posted

    I love the story development. The scenes are getting intense. Looking forward to future chapters. This novel will become a hit soon.

    altalt
    I Can't Stop Loving You
    Urban · Kim_Aromy
    detail