mahe_ale_aba
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mahe_ale_aba17dCommentedWAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
But alas! It was too late. Blaze's body sank even deeper, as he took his final breath.- mahe_ale_aba17dCommented
sam add osme expression line here like you want them to attach u calix said eing supried or shocked
This paragraph has been deleted. - mahe_ale_aba1mthPosted
I LOVED THIS STORY SO MUCH IT IS SPEACKING VOLUMES IN ROMANCE AND THE PERFECT COMFY FEELING I AM IN LOVE WITH THE CHRACTERS AND ITS AMAZING I LOVE THE WHOLE ASTHETIC OF THE MAFIA WORLD AND THEN A HELPLESS GIRL ITS EAUTIFUL !!!!! although one thing in chapter 9 there r repeative paragraphs u wanna check that ok.
- mahe_ale_aba1mthCommented
soooooo trueeeee!!!!!!
"This is why you should treat women softly as they are, they can't take too much hardship. They aren't meant for that," - mahe_ale_aba1mthPosted
there r only two chapters right now But so far this seems exiting like a villan and human mix of an anime season, the story line seems good i like the the world Background
This book has been deleted. - mahe_ale_aba1mthCommented
so far its really good need the next chapter soon!
This book has been deleted. - mahe_ale_aba1mthPosted
I just read this, and I have to say the author has put in so much work and detail in it, which is something you don't see a lot nowadays in books. The book hooks you from the start and keeps you wanting more and more. This definitely needs more recognition. Good job, fellow author. I really enjoyed this.
- mahe_ale_aba1mthCommented
adrian....
"Don't you dare lie to me! I considered you a friend! And this is how you pay me, huh? Backstabbing me, abducting my mother?!" - mahe_ale_aba1mthCommented
a really captivating story , and a great start i love how you expressed the emotions that the man had lost his family and how he was used to coming to the cementry as a child then had to see his whole family become a part of it. it really good . i would like to add that puntuation needs a slight fixing like dont add space for the speach marks. it really interesting though kee up nix!
Ch 1 Prologue ; Shifting soil , blanket of mud - mahe_ale_aba1mthCommented
i am a sucker for these kind of descriptions
Alone and unclaimed, this is the only thing remotely close to pleasure that I'll ever feel. Being touched, kissed, stroked is all part of our existence, and I have to admit I feel empty without it most of the time. So, I give myself up to Jake, and he gives me what I want. - mahe_ale_aba1mthCommented
i love the description here
He held his stomach, he was still hungry, looking at the two corpse Infront of him, he swallowed hard, he came closer to the snake body and but on it, realizing the softness of the skin, he immediately tore a larger portion and swallowed, immediately the meat passed his throat, he fell a hit sensation in his body, and the panel popped up with new information, his eyes widden at the new data showing up. - mahe_ale_aba1mthCommented
hey the structure here is a little bit off use it does not resemble one bit but the story is really nice keep up
"Where did I land?" He surprisingly took it easy and did not panic, "this place does not resemble earth In a slightest, so, the question is, which world did I land on and am I still human?" He checked his body condition and as expected, he was different, he looked behind him and found out he had a tail, he looked at the claws of his had and the thick hair covering his body. - mahe_ale_aba1mthPosted
i just read this book through 6 chapters in an hour in one sitting and i can assure everyone that this is a great book and i need more chapters soon the flowery of language is beautiful and its so well written and there is action and thriller packed to keep u up at night and look i am not exagerating this is a great book good job author need more chapters now pls !