Pretty good. Some spelling mistakes that need to be fixed, but are also rare to find. I mainly found them because I was quite interested at one point. The pace isn’t fast or slow and has a bit of information given at you in the beginning but latter on the execution was much better. Overall a pretty good start.

Should also have*

Look at me*

Pretty good… I have one problem which is the spacing on the paragraphs, but you can easily fix that…

Pretty good, it’s too fast pace for my liking but I wont lower the rating purposely because of that. Some of the paragraphs can be overwhelming and sentence variety could be enhanced.

*amazing. Hate how auto correct works on this platform

Love the story so far! The pacing is perfect for me and the world and story building is azmazing so far. Though the only problem I had was with Suzume but that’s fine. I’ll keep track of this novel.

Erm, character development for Suzume is kinda bad. Improve it for later chapters

Why is* not does

Pretty good. Not much useless information dumps (read up to chapter 7) and pacing is great so far.

Not bad… bit of cliche here and there, and some fix up of grammar is needed, but is a lot better than almost 80% of the novels I’ve seen on here. Some of the narrative and dialogue don’t seem to draw me in, and I won’t go into detail about that, as I’m not an author. Overall, pretty good.

Going to be completely honest, not the greatest. Your first chapter wasn’t even 100 words long. No character/world development. A good chuck of the text is just the system, it makes me not want to read at all.

Pretty good, I just don’t like the use of kanji in the names. Makes it hard to read sometimes. I like some of the romance but I feel like you focus too much on that, But it’s only been 5 chapters so I can’t complain.