Lions_Quill
My team and I work together to publish high quality fiction. Our current platforms are Royal Road, Webnovel, Tapas, and scribble hub.
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Lions_Quill2dReplied to Saune_Sunswordnope, permanent status effect. In all fairness all it didn't do all that much aside from making her eyes glow. At least, nothing of note that anyone else will be able to notice.
'Ok, so I have to fight... The guards were easy enough, but how about these guys? If something goes wrong I should have a knight near–' I couldn't sense him anymore. 'There's no way, are there more of them around here? Could they have jumped him already?' all the haze surrounding me cleared in an instant as my eyes began to spasm, switching between tints of white and orange as if the dragon's eyes were fighting with the blessing from the Nog I received in the dungeon. As crazy as it felt I was still able to process, maybe even more clearly than normal, just who I was up against.- Lions_Quill2dReplied to Saune_Sunsword
guess I was thinking about the parkour too much.
'I should find Air and help sort this out… It might not be a big problem yet, but stuff like this tends to cause revaults doesn't it?' - Lions_Quill2dReplied to Saune_Sunsword
XD
We walked down the alley into a darker part of town, which helped my eyes, but not the ominous feeling that bled from the walls. The alleys twisted and turned as the buildings only seemed to grow taller, and the shadows deeper. As it turned out his wife actually was sick and my suspicions seemed to be completely unfounded. 'Maybe I watched too many movies in my past life.' - Lions_Quill8dReplied to Saune_Sunsword
Maybe. Note though that when she appears in front of Agis she is still in her body from earth at this point.
After about three hours, the rolling green hills leveled out into farmland and eventually became sprawling city streets paved with stone. It was the first time I ever actually saw a real city from that world. - Lions_Quill8dReplied to Saune_Sunsword
My cousin does this too. You are not alone.
"I am Siyasavide Nayanathulu, and this is my sister Wayalusayo, we are the only daughters of lord Keigan, lower you're weapons." 'Our names might be a mouthful, but if I say them with confidence… I-it should be fine, right? Even if does sound like I'm hosting a comedy a skit…' - Lions_Quill8dReplied to Saune_Sunsword
Realistically, no, but practically it works. Would she know a term originating from a Japanese war charge in WW2? No. But... They wouldn't be speaking English either. At least probably not. At this point the English term bonsai is just another word in the English language, meaning something completely different than the Japanese "To plant" So it's probably as realistic as any other English word. At least that's kind of how I see it.
Time resumed. "BONZAI!" I heard as I pulled my sword back to block an attack from behind, kicking the guard I nearly killed while Lu landed on the third, having jumped from the wall. - Lions_Quill18dReplied to Saune_Sunsword
This is incredibly ironic to me, because the ' is used to signify possession...
"Well done as always Siya," Nillous said, leaning back in his chair with a smile. "You're strategies never let me down." - Lions_Quill18dReplied to Saune_Sunsword
Yea. I usually avoid this. But in this case it's not just a change of volume, but a transition from part 1 (First 3) to part 2- (4-6)
Setting Off. - Lions_Quill22dReplied to Saune_Sunsword
This one kind of trips me up because it feels strange to have a paragraph break withing a quote, but sometimes it also feels like it's worse to just have the one paragraph be massive. I actually didn't know the rules about this, so that's helpful
"OK, here's the plan. Nillous, you change into a defensive formation and hold that river bank when it's your turn, don't let them cross, but don't get overaggressive and try to cross yourself…" I picked up my scout and moved him far across the board towards a ruin. A tile with defensive advantages. "Send your scout to follow mine to this ruin, we can form a pseudo-third party between the two of them." - Lions_Quill29dReplied to Saune_Sunsword
Dagnit! Fixing now.
He let out a powerful roar as he cleaved through several skeletons with one swipe of his greatsword, taking out another with a thrust from his torch. "COME AND TASTE MY METAL!" - Lions_Quill1mthReplied to Saune_Sunsword
There are some things that I just look at... And I'm like... Really? grammar check found nothing wrong with that? Ty
This paragraph has been deleted. - Lions_Quill1mthReplied to Saune_Sunsword
So I thought about this, and I'm pretty sure she's technically been barefoot this whole time. I had to go back to double check, but it never actually talks about there getting shoes, so I think she's technically been barefoot this whole time. Although I'm not sure how much sense that actually makes though so I might go back and change a few things. Or at least clarify that and give a reason for it.
I almost couldn't believe it. I had survived what I thought were much harsher conditions, but my skin was turning blue, and my fingers and toes were bright red with frostnip after just a few seconds of being underwater, as if the water was cutting through my magic and affecting my body directly. - Lions_Quill1mthReplied to Saune_Sunsword
That would have been metal for sure.
Once again I was left with just my large hunting dagger. I was back at the base of the tree. Electrically burnt grass lined the ground next to its severed arm and pool of hot blood that sloshed against my boots. My legs started to shake with every ripple, making it hard to assume a proper stance. - Lions_Quill1mthReplied to Saune_Sunsword
it was supposed to be "disinfect" the spell name.
This paragraph has been deleted. - Lions_Quill1mthReplied to Moon_The_Femboy
It's totally fine. I actually fixed a lot of these when I reformatted it for publishing. I just forgot about a lot of them so I never cleaned them up. It doesn't bother me at all. Fixed them for ya.
This paragraph has been deleted. - Lions_Quill1mthReplied to Moon_The_Femboy
lol she needs one.
Still, she was eight, six years younger than me… The fact that she was only shorter by a couple of inches made that feeling a melancholy one. - Lions_Quill1mthReplied to Saune_Sunsword
Elves mature just slightly slower than humans into young adults, (25) at which point "maturity" becomes defined by how strong their magic is as far as other elves are concerned. Although there is some variation in this. So she might as well be 47, just in the body of a 25 year old.
She tilted her head. "47, why?"