It's a disaster for a novel with 4.8 rating, which possibly bought or propped by alt accounts. I understand that this is just a smut but this thing just is unreadable.

Repetitions.. this chapter is actually one paragraph long, but with the power of repetitions no jutsu, it became this abomination.

Ugh.. didn't Jiraiya use the little old toads to do sage mode? The Fukasakus if I'm not mistaken. And he cannot use sage art perfectly either, hence the need for the Fukasakus toads' help in controlling nature energy. geez, while they always creates interesting stories, those Chinese writers often forget that they used established storyline and simply write ooc characters all of a sudden. I don't hate this story per se, just ranting here. I've been enjoying this so far, but this ooc actions by the character and not following the established lore of the characters always irk me for some reason.

Ugh.. these Chinese writers really wrote anything that come to their mind without any effort to world building. Corpse extraction is mandatory in Naruto's world as they could be used for many things, research for example among many things. Jonins of a hidden village won't simply leave their prey, especially since it is well known that Pakura has bloodline limit, which has immense research value.

Too many ramblings. Author, you need to stop writing everything that came up in your mind. It's distracting to read. Just focus on the story, be concise, and reread it after you're done if you don't have a proofreader. At least you will avoid the small mistakes you made in all these chapters.

Oh my, messing with the Emperor's holiday? How quaint~ can't wait to see how Artorius' reaction to those who disturbs his rare vacation heheheh..

BoBoiBoy?! Why?!!! 🤣🤣🤣

Bro, you need to make up your mind. Use First person pov "I/Me/My" or third person "He/Him/His". It's confusing.

Thank God the novel get better instead of the unreadable wreck the two chapters stayed as. Btw you should use this [sign] to separate your story with the system stuffs such as status and notification instead of capitalizing all of them. Many writers use them and they work just fine. It give them a distinct style compared to what you use at the moment. And they are less annoying. It might be just me but capital words just "read" as shouting and anger in my opinion. Anyway, well done.

Ugh.. it's all over the place. You gotta remember that you're writing fanfiction, not manhwa -_- It's almost unreadable. Hope this gets better next chapters.

I started reading because I enjoys chat fic. This one can be considered decent, but the format of writing is sadly VERY lazy. Maybe I was spoiled by reading fanfics here, scribblehub, ffnet, and qq instead of wattpad but honestly wattpad's quality is too dang low and I HATED them with PASSION. I mean, come on! write the conversation better bro, why would you write a story in a script format.. It would enrich your story, instead of them being static conversation. For example you write your conversation like this : Bibi Dong :"I am Bibi Dong, Level 95 Douluo...." Fang Smthng :" I am Fang something something whatever.." that's too static man, what's the different between the chat and real world conversation?! why can't you write it like this for example: "Hello fellow chat group member. I am Bibi Dong." The beautiful woman with unnatural grace and beauty greeted Fang smthng with a small smile. "Greetings, Lady Bibi Dong, I am Fang smthng." Fang smthng replied happily to her. Can you see the different? It gave better insight to how the conversation goes. You can illustrate how the conversation happen better that way instead of writing story conversation in that horrendously apocalyptically ugly wattpad-ey elementary school-y style with added word count as a bonus my bro. PLEASE, I BEG YOU! DON'T TURN THIS BEAUTIFUL SITE INTO ANOTHER WATTPAD!!

I wonder how this grandmaster guy got his hand on those information. I mean, aren't martial souls supposed to be the lifeline of its user? and he got MOST of the known martial souls somehow? why would they share them? in addition, the guy is supposedly weak isn't it? I don't think he got any leverage to do that.. and if i'm not mistaken, spirit rings also decides how the martial souls develop right? those soul masters supposedly got they absorbed spirit ring's original skills after all.

Too painful to read and has too many weird points. 1. You really need an editor and proofreader. I know you're not native english speaker and I did not meant to be rude but I have to say that your english is bad. 2. The character and world building is very lacking. You need to elaborate more, ie. explain more about the mc. If your mc is the grandson of Lucifer, while he is a cosmic force powerhouse, i don't think he is one above all. 3. Is this rewrite of 2 previous similar story? I think I checked them back then, "Dimensional Chat Group Of Creation and Destruction" are the titles if I'm not mistaken. With Sullivan as the MC, but with different member. I did not understand what you are trying to do but I believe correcting your writing into something more readable should be your priority instead of doing that.

Uh.. i thought the training arc in the earlier chapter is meant to get mc stronger? Why did he struggle against a small fry? Is this chapter supposed to show inoue's growth and power awakening like the manga? Aih.. bro you are writing a fanfiction. It's a fiction of fiction. You should build up story from the base, not just follow the plot of the original...