HashDaze
That guy that you can find everywhere.
Writing
of reading
390
Read books
Badges
4Moments
11
HashDaze1yrReplied to can_you_seeThis paragraph has been deleted.- HashDaze1yrCommentedCh 1 Introduction
- HashDaze1yrReplied to No_Harem
yes but that's not the main focus
The deserters heard the sound of rustling bushes growing increasingly distant before finally fading away. Believing the threat to be gone, they slowly walked towards the horse. - HashDaze1yrReplied to No_Harem
Oh well, um the MC is gonna be chased by a multiple FL but he doesn't (or can't...) choose any of them
She just kept crying, tears streaming down her face. The room was coated in a dark red, with chunks of flesh and organs scattered about. I finally realized what had happened when I saw her clothes, torn and tattered, and her skirt lying on the ground. Dried blood stained her thighs, a cruel reminder of what had transpired in this room. - HashDaze1yrCommented
Damn, I wonder what has happened.
She just kept crying, tears streaming down her face. The room was coated in a dark red, with chunks of flesh and organs scattered about. I finally realized what had happened when I saw her clothes, torn and tattered, and her skirt lying on the ground. Dried blood stained her thighs, a cruel reminder of what had transpired in this room. - HashDaze1yrCommentedCh 6 Vermillion Gamma
- HashDaze1yrPosted
I haven't read all of the chapters so I'm terribly sorry if there are any mistakes. Here are my PERSONAL review, Writing style: The writing style is descriptive and engaging, with a good balance of dialogue and narration. The author effectively uses imagery to convey a sense of atmosphere and setting. However, there are some inconsistencies in the tone and pacing of the story. Plot development: The plot is intriguing and unique, with a clear premise and a sense of mystery and tension. The author effectively builds suspense and raises questions about the nature of reality and the nature of the protagonist's situation. However, some parts of the story feel rushed or underdeveloped. Character development: The main character is well-developed and relatable, with clear motivations and a sense of agency. The author effectively uses dialogue and internal monologue to reveal the character's thoughts and feelings. However, some of the other characters feel underdeveloped and lack depth, which can make it difficult for readers to fully engage with the story. Use of language: The author effectively uses descriptive language to create a sense of atmosphere and setting. However, there are some inconsistencies in the use of language, with some sentences feeling clunky or awkward. Additionally, the author sometimes uses overly complex vocabulary, which can make it difficult for some readers to fully understand the story. Inconsistencies or areas for improvement: As mentioned before, there are some inconsistencies in the tone and pacing of the story, which may make it difficult for readers to fully engage with the story. Additionally, some parts of the story feel rushed or underdeveloped, the author also sometimes uses overly complex vocabulary, which can make it difficult for some readers to fully understand the story. Character Design: The character design is relatively basic. The main character's thoughts and actions are clearly conveyed, but there is not much detail given about their physical appearance or background. The other characters, such as the prankster and the author, are also not well-developed in terms of their character design. Their motivations and personalities are not fully fleshed out, making it difficult for readers to connect with them or understand their actions. Additionally, the background characters are not given much attention at all and are mostly used as props to move the plot forward. The character design could use more development in order to make the characters more relatable and interesting. The world background is not fully developed, maybe it's because I haven't read it all. It is mentioned that the story takes place in a dormitory, and there are references to a "Planetary System" with six planets, but there is not much detail provided about the setting and its history. The use of technology, such as telephones, is also not fully explained in the context of the world. It would be beneficial for the author to provide more information about the setting and its rules to create a more immersive reading experience. Overall, the story has a unique premise and intriguing plot, but could benefit from more consistent pacing and development of secondary characters. The author has a strong descriptive writing style but could benefit from improving the use of language. I'm no professional novel writer or reviewer but I think this is all I can say.
- HashDaze1yrReplied to cast_of_all_devilCh 9 A Talentless Scumbag
- HashDaze1yrReplied to ViolettAbyssCh 7 Surviving The Night
- HashDaze1yrCommented
The sound is caused by Sei's sword sheath/scabbard (he threw it.)
The deserters heard the sound of rustling bushes growing increasingly distant before finally fading away. Believing the threat to be gone, they slowly walked towards the horse.