Gerald_de_Belen
Lv1
2022-11-09 JoinedGlobal
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Gerald_de_Belen1yrCommentedCleavage
The teacher turned out to be a very young woman, probably 20 to 26,she wore a white top with long sleeves,the first three buttons were missing, revealing part of her magnificent coverage.- Gerald_de_Belen1yrCommented
Memory card
Alex took out a headphone from his bag and put it on,he then played the song on his playlist on the memories card,he didn't even know the title of the song or the singer,not like he cared though,he played as long as the song made sense,he rested his head on his desk and listened quietly. - Gerald_de_Belen1yrCommented
Entire room
She kept on repeating the same sentence until she finally fell asleep off, while she was sleeping soundly,a dim blue orb rose from her body, its glow slowly brightened till it fully illuminated the enter room. - Gerald_de_Belen1yrCommented
You may avoid using comparison like this people with AIDS as it will bring negative impact on some of your readers
Another boy walked forward and said with flashing a smile,he looked quite skinny,even skinnier than Ken and anyone would get the impression that he was an AIDS patient. - Gerald_de_Belen1yrCommented
Sly not sky i think
This paragraph has been deleted. - Gerald_de_Belen1yrCommented
Rarely instead of really seen
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It should be sources instead of sauces
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Typo error for college
"He said he would be back soon, he wants his son to get admitted into the light wings collage" Alex mumbled with the liquid in his mouth. - Gerald_de_Belen1yrReplied to Vee_High
I think the author want to portray the father’s insights about his son. Hence, it must not be treated as the author’s general point of view regarding introverts.
Alex shook his head at his father's stern attitude, he didn't want to admit to his feelings for fear that his girlish son would become girlish forever if given too much affection. Alex could feel that deep within his dad, he cared for him, but he was just too indirect. - Gerald_de_Belen1yrCommented
We can omit “was made” At the last part
Alex looked around the living room, taking a deep breath, he headed straight to his 'mom's room which from his new memories showed was on the third floor, he didn't understand why she wasn't on the fifth, though, to him, it didn't matter which floor she picked because no one could change her mind was made. - Gerald_de_Belen1yrCommented
Please use periods and commas correctly.
"No worries then, I'm just glad you are okay, let's go in your mom has been crying since you were announced missing, she refused to come out of her room" August through a side glance at Alex, he felt something was off with Alex's story but didn't ask. - Gerald_de_Belen1yrReplied to Gerald_de_Belen
Also, is it ‘yeaga’ or ’jeaga’?
Feeling Alex's suspicious towards him, the driver hurriedly explained while waving his hands"no, no, no, you must have misunderstood me, young man, it was an honest coincidence that I met you today, just that there had been much news about the young master of the jeaga family going missing and the jeaga family had promised to reward whoever could find their child - Gerald_de_Belen1yrCommented
Alex’s suspicion
Feeling Alex's suspicious towards him, the driver hurriedly explained while waving his hands"no, no, no, you must have misunderstood me, young man, it was an honest coincidence that I met you today, just that there had been much news about the young master of the jeaga family going missing and the jeaga family had promised to reward whoever could find their child - Gerald_de_Belen1yrCommented
Surely instead of surly
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Should have 1 Marco only.
This paragraph has been deleted. - Gerald_de_Belen1yrCommented
I think it should be “because of his hand” and not ”had”
The other figure on the right was completely covered by a long green robe, even the face was covered by the hood of the robe, but it was easy to tell that the one behind the hood was a man, an old man rather because of his had which wasn't covered by the robe, he looked like a wizard from ancient history.