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Bobby_Sharma_4002

Bobby_Sharma_4002

Lv4
2022-09-08 JoinedGlobal
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  • Bobby_Sharma_4002
    Bobby_Sharma_40021d
    Posted

    man i don't even know where to start. you ruined a potential good fic by thinking with your di*k instead of your brain. This was supposed to be a sign-in system story and in 32 chapters i haven't seen much about it. there's barely any mention of it and all there is sex in your mind nothing else. this story has potential to be something great but you have nothing going on besides hogging all girls and sex.

    Son's Of Anarchy/Fast & Furious (SI)
    TV · Shane_Town
    detail
  • Bobby_Sharma_4002
    Bobby_Sharma_40026mth
    Commented

    Where's the next chapter dude? It's been a week already...

    Ch 45 New Revelations
    Professor Dovahkiin-continued
    Book&Literature · access11
    detail
  • Bobby_Sharma_4002
    Bobby_Sharma_40027mth
    Posted

    you are lagging in three departments: Story development, character design and the background of the of the world you are trying to portray. you have good ideas running in there but the lack of engagement of characters is making it dull. So far its like you got good ideas but you lack words to convey the feeling. good luck...

    A New Professor's Tale
    Book&Literature · Alli_Balli
    detail
  • Bobby_Sharma_4002
    Bobby_Sharma_40027mth
    Commented

    oh com on ... try to narrate the the story a bit more bro.. you could've written a battle between students or a introductory battel between MC and some other professor or a senior student. And it is getting too centered to MC. You have not even scratched the surface of the potential your fic has. Its running too fast and there barely anything in the chapters to cling on.. and chapters are getting short. so the excitement of the chapter is getting lost somewhere.

    Ch 12 The Unexpected Dueling Club
    A New Professor's Tale
    Book&Literature · Alli_Balli
    detail
  • Bobby_Sharma_4002
    Bobby_Sharma_40027mth
    Commented

    At this point its becoming boring.. there could've been more interactions in this chapter.. you talked about pranks and MC only have been on the receiving end of the pranks.. you could've made it more engaging by making MC do pranks on students and maybe some punishments just for the fun of it.. A good story is a story in which you could visualize yourself living through the story and so far it's getting less engaging by the next chapter....

    Ch 10 Prank Wars
    A New Professor's Tale
    Book&Literature · Alli_Balli
    detail
  • Bobby_Sharma_4002
    Bobby_Sharma_40027mth
    Commented

    Try to make conversations with characters and interaction with other staff. Otherwise its getting boring, it's just a prospective story from your point of view and its getting hard to engage with the story. And lastly, don't take pressure write your own story but with bit more engaging with other characters. I'm enjoying it for now.. Keep it up author..

    Ch 8 The Enchanted Quill
    A New Professor's Tale
    Book&Literature · Alli_Balli
    detail
  • Bobby_Sharma_4002
    Bobby_Sharma_40029mth
    Commented

    Dear Author

    Ch 30 Part 30 - Businesses
    Lannister's Sin of Pride
    TV · Cedric_7512
    detail
  • Bobby_Sharma_4002
    Bobby_Sharma_40029mth
    Commented
    This paragraph has been deleted.
    Twilight: The Heavenly Demon
    Movies · Mas_W
    detail
  • Bobby_Sharma_4002
    Bobby_Sharma_40021yr
    Commented

    Is the Fic dropped or something ? if not then please continue ..its a great story i would love to read it..

    Ch 17 Chapter 17 -Meeting
    shogun of wano
    Anime & Comics · godlyarrogantz_305
    detail