Aria_Monrow
Novels are my essence, words are my blood. I have waited for a thousand years and I shall wait for a thousand more. As what I desire, is to achieve in myself "The Dao Of Books"
of reading
232
Read books
Overall it is good but you should remove R-18 content from synopsis or your novel might get banned since it was stated in the rules. The story is great although a bit hard to understand at some parts. The way you depicted your characters is beautiful and surely it will get better in the near future.
The Title of the book coupled with the naming sensed and the way the author has described the events and scenes is quite sophisticated...to the point that I might as well call it poetic but it is something that adds much charm to the novel as a whole. It's quite an amazing novel and surely there isn't any much better than this one. If you do not read this then you will miss out on a polished gem.
Let me be blunt. It's not the grammar mistakes but the way you piece the sentences which makes some unable to enjoy the novel. You should write it like this...take this as an example. I just rewrote it right now so it is going basic but get an example from this. It was an incredible change brought by fate as person A and B got married. Not even three months had passed by that the news of (said person) becoming pregnant was heard. Alex was delighted to know of this news, his grandfather was also content with the fantastic news but (for whatever reason it could be) Dr. Jamie was horrified. Like this..change it into something that is readable, even if it is basic. It will be gun for others