MoonlightBomber
An indie game developer and writer. Has a fondness for RPGs and visual novels. Also a collector of stuff. Support me on Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/moonlightbomber
Writing
of reading
77
Read books
It's how everything is perceived in this post-truth era.
So, my initial impressions. The setting is good, the characters are good, but the beginning needs to have a little more punch. I can understand you employing the third-person perspective to narrate what is going on, but if you want to get your readers hooked more, the opening need to have this "personal touch", And finally, you need to fix the synopsis. Just tell who are the main players and what they are playing, and not just cut and paste an excerpt.
The first four chapters should clue you in to a straightforward yet strong start. We get the in medias res beginning of how a teacher ended up with a vampire, and how the story's immediate world is plagued by ghouls. I also can appreciate the use of the present tense in narration, and the presentation and flow are well-written and easy to understand. I can't wait to know what happens next.
Even though I'm a straight guy and generally don't care for LGBT+ stories that are not on the L side of things, the first few chapters are well-built, giving a solid foundation to what will happen next. Furthermore, the fact that there is already an established transmigration/reincarnation organization pleased me.