The exchange of questions was fun. I was a bit expectant when you skipped the action in the ambush. But the verbal joust exceeded my expectation. Great job!

The narrator has an engaging voice. Good grammar. Intriguing world and characters. It's one of those few novels that give me faith in web novels.

Thanks for the honest review! I'll check out yours too once I'm done with work.

Ay oo nga bakit nga ba ako ingles nang ingles. Hehe. Mejo busy pa ko. Pero review ko yang sayo pagtapos.

Thanks! There are several Pinoy authors I've met here. And they're good authors too. I'll review yours later.

The attention to detail made the scene come alive especially the last line.

I moved the review to the new link. But I'll reread yours and reciprocate with comments. Tehe.

I've always wanted to read a fantasy set other than medieval Europe. The language is exquisite and fits perfectly the story it's telling. This is one of the very few books that gives WN hope. Adding this to my library.

I'm glad you liked it. Thank you for taking the time to write this wonderful review (and the comments). Will update soon.

I've always wanted to read a fantasy set other than medieval Europe. The language is exquisite and fits perfectly the story it's telling. This is one of the very few books that gives WN hope. Adding this to my library.

This vignette of a first chapter introduced concisely the MC and her status quo. I like the use of irony in the family name Best. The writing is good though it could use a tiny bit of refining. I'd suggest to drop the use of the words 'was' 'were' as in 'was laughing' or 'was 'studying' and the like. Try using active verbs instead: 'he laughed' and 'he studied'. Though there will be exceptions, of course. I'm happy with the POV. Try looking into the technique called 'free indirect discourse/style. It can help you add more attitude to the narration. Overall, it's a good start. Keep writing.

I'm not really into the 'inside the game' genre, but this story is charming. Thanks to the MC and the setting and how the author presented them to the reader. The writing needs a improvement though. And I did some in-line comments regarding that. But I'm sure, with practice and study of techniques, the author will be able to craft more compelling stories. Good luck!

Other filters here: glanced, saw, noticed. Try removing those and see how your narration tightens.

Try using fewer filters like "I saw". Instead, you can write it as, 'His lips curled, snickering..." Especially for a story in first person, the narration should read as if the events are happening in front of the perspective character and the reader.

The word 'me' pulled me out of the story since I thought the novel was going to be written in third person. I suggest establishing the POV at the very first sentence, even in the prologue. This can be achieved by describing the scene from the perspective character's eyes. Try making the details have a personal meaning to the narrator (who is the character as well).

Verb tense needs to be consistent all throughout the novel.

Channeling Jack Sparrow. It's good.

I appreciate your time reading and leaving a review. I'll update soon!

I only read the first chapter, but I enjoyed it. The author managed to make me smile. I also like the references to Filipino motifs giving the story some sense of locality. The writing needs improvement but nothing a steady practice and grammarly (or some other software) cannot fix.

What I liked: The author thought out the history and origin of the central conflict. The characterization is also there. What needs improvement: the author can use the good old "show don't tell" writing advice. I also suggest the use of editing and proofreading softwares like Grammarly. In general, the story has potential, even in a saturated genre, it can deliver something fresh.