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lynn_oka17dCommentedCh 429 Chapter 429 The Young Mistress- lynn_oka17dCommented
I've been waiting for this ^^
Chapter 415 Infiltrating Human Society - lynn_oka17dCommented
:(
'Though if there is one, or should I say two big differences, it's definitely these.' Evelyn thought cupping her hands under her sizable chest. - lynn_oka17dCommented
đ
Nevertheless, even being surrounded by flames as hot as the surface of a star, Evelyn only felt like she was submerged in a warm bath. - lynn_oka4mthCommented
The guy is totally the wendigo himself ;(
"No, that's Merrik. I'll give him a call. Just a moment," the clerk pulled his tablet and made the call. The conversation took only a few moments before he turned back to the party, "He will be right over. It's been just two days since he came back, so he is still a bit shaken up. Especially since he lost his party there." - lynn_oka4mthCommentedCh 98 CRONEâS LAST STAND
- lynn_oka4mthCommented
Okay, I have to say some things about this chapter. I actually like it turning gory and related heavy themes. The main character assaulting a child is not something I am fine with however, without (emotional) consequences at least. Also this rage is not something I would like to see often, maybe it was caused by the soup tho. Also less pointless cursing would be something your novel would benefit a lot from in my opinion. I feel like a lot of interesting interactions or observations don't happen or are cut short because she just starts cursing and raging for pages. I really like your writing and also her character design, but I really think for the sake of immersion and progression it would help a lot to tone it down to a certain level. Anyway, I enjoy reading your work a lot and hope you are not discouraged by my critisism. I hope you take it with a grain of salt since you are still the author and doing great work which I could'nt. This is just my take at things which keep this from being the perfect read for me. But still, you are doing a great job, thanks for the chapter and please keep updating :)
Ch 96 THE BASEMENT - lynn_oka4mthCommented
Wait, it took me a while but I think one could argue Blue leaving was kind of horrible. She basically took the legacy of their room, an important ressource, for herself and opened the room for selfish reasons. Now the dwarfes are faced with a war and she leaves to be closer to her family. I mean I get her, but if she decides to leave she should at least give the legacy to Naka to protect the people she exposed to the maze and leaves alone because of a war.
Meeting a new party - lynn_oka4mthCommented
Ohh, she was pretty spot on tho :3
Unbelievable. Really fucking unbelievable! The bitch actually had the nerve to ask if she was a witch⊠when the proprietor of the inn was a literal walking stereotype! How the fuck did that make sense? That musclebound shrew ought to be taught a lesson. Maybe Sage should wait until the late hours of the night to sneak up on her and beat the ever-living crap out of her! - lynn_oka4mthCommentedCh 13 A Journalist in the New World
- lynn_oka4mthCommented
This is a clown show, they should have undergone military training and put more focus on efficiency. She is doing nothing while her spells are down.
Screams and cries could be heard amidst the sounds of blades clashing and bones breaking. One boy was pushed down by a large orc and had his head stomped on, dying instantly. The sight of it made Neve turn away quickly. She wished she could do something about it, but it was simply not smart to worry about them right now. - lynn_oka4mthCommented
ok, this is what I hoped would change, I looked ahead to check.These exclamations and the constand "doll-san" is a bit... uncanny?, creepy?.This is what made me quit last time, there were other things but this mainly. I just don't feel compfortable with this. Not sure how to put it, it feels just very close to sexualized idealization. I think this summarizes my feelings.
"Ehhh??" - lynn_oka4mthReplied to lynn_oka
at least of others
It's a crime that should never be done. Doing it and being found guilty can result to either having a death sentence or even be sent or sentenced to jail for a lifetime. - lynn_oka4mthCommented
Yeah, further aging should manage to give some perpective on the value of human life
It's a crime that should never be done. Doing it and being found guilty can result to either having a death sentence or even be sent or sentenced to jail for a lifetime. - lynn_oka4mthCommented
*critical damage*
Actually, there are some times when something will bring short happiness to the girl and that is by winning something on gacha games or when she is reading or watching something funny. - lynn_oka4mthCommentedCh 382 Chapter 382 End of the First Day
- lynn_oka4mthCommented
First food metaphor, not the best sign
The door opened soundlessly, and a slender, delicate-looking young woman entered, carrying a tray. Her hair was a pleasant honey color and plaited neatly into two braids. Upon seeing Abrial limp on the ground, her hazel eyes widened and her lips pursed. .