Jollybee
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Well i dont have much thoughts on this, only going to be upset if a few things happen. If mc gets nerfed ima be angry, if this creates a super vamp villan ima be angry, if this destroys what he built for 4k years ima be angry. If this even effects him negatively ima be pretty upset.
Well mc is different now, i thought he was strong but this is just weak. Why are you so fixated on doughnuts? You know you can make them extremely cheap right? Just use a pot and oil, flour and sugar aint that expensive probably 10$ in total for all the ingredients and a cheap pan from a thrift store. Is this a slice of life? I feel like its just not because your about to turn carl into an worker of the illegal man. You said his life was going no where?????? Have you seen the entirety of shameless? Bro becomes a king pin in his city, an top level cop etc. I dislike this "forced debt" so hes going to have to pay back everyone for franks debt? I dont like that at all. Its just boring. You NEED to do a time skip, so far we have only done 2 or 3 days, and his ex friends have already beaten him up. I get it hes weak, and your trying to show growth... but dont. The way your doing this is mind nummbingly boring.
Im going off zero knowledge of the world. And im on 26 hrs of no sleep. I enjoy OP characters, i dont care much about what if scenarios as in looking into the future and picking optimal paths only due to there is no suprize, that means i could geuss the end before it even happens. Mc will never fully lose, and if they do that is the worst kind of story to read. End of the day with his knowledge and how the "world" has been created that means there is potential of mutil verses capable of creation by this "god" thats in the future if you have any plans of thinking that far. You could lean into mc creating a new civilization that he could set a path to change certain events, spiritualists that lead the word of creation. Or not i just dont want to see copy and paste of 40k lore with small changes that just shove mc in there. I dont know the lore so i dont know if that's already happened. Mc could have pure control over technology since hes observed since creation. Will matter into what he needs at the time, would just make resources null for him if he decides to participate in wars. All in all i dont mind how you write this, all this is rambling from a tired person. Ignore me if i seem deranged
Just binged the whole thing in like a day or two. I did lose intrest when the story started following others besides the MC. Like i dont need the iron man story that took probably 2-5 chs in this whole story. The mc is pretty self nerfed, even though hes OP. Its like forced situations happen. Of course i understand without conflict the story would get stale. But man it was all over the place. Anyway i see your going to rewrite it, im hopeful for what comes out.